Because of Him.

When Easter rolls around I can't help but get a little emotional.

Easter is the embodiment of every thing I love about this gospel. 

Resurrection, and our ability to become perfect. 

The Atonement, and the healing power it brings to our lives. 

The Plan of Salvation--and the opportunity to be with our families forever. 

Today is the perfect reminder of why we're even here in the first place.

The hashtag #becauseofHim has been popping up all over my social media lately. 

It's Easter Sunday, and 140 characters just isn't going to cut it today. 

Because of Him. 

Because of Him, I know that the mistakes I make every day are things I can be forgiven of. 

Because of Him, I know there's somebody who feels exactly how I'm feeling every moment of every day. 

Because of Him, I know that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and is looking out for me. 

Because of Him, I know that there is a life after death. 

Today, I am especially grateful for the Plan of Salvation. I attended Bronson's grandpa's funeral this morning, and was overwhelmed with gratitude for the knowledge we have of an eternal family. I had only spoken with Jerry twice, but the goodness that radiated from him was incredible. As his family paid tribute to him and celebrated his life today, I said a silent prayer of thanks for the wonderful people I have had the opportunity to interact with in my life--the Kunzler's in particular. 

Four years ago, when my Grandma was in the ICU, Bronson showed up at my door with a bouquet of flowers and an offer to sit with me as I tried to handle what felt like my entire world falling apart around me. Later that week, he and his mom appeared once again at my door the night of my Grandma's viewing with a hug and a simple reminder that I would see my grandma again. 

Four years later, as that same sweet boy is teaching people in Detroit about the Plan of Salvation, I watched Karen say goodbye to her dad and [wished with every part of me that Bronson could be there] was grateful for temples, forever families, and the knowledge of a life after death. 

Because of Him, I know that my family will be together forever. 

Who wouldn't want to be with these monkeys forever?

Happy Easter, lovelies. 

Happy New Year!

To say that 2013 was good to me would be an understatement. 

Here's my favorite moments of the last 365. [In no particular order, because I know someone *cough* Brian *cough* Wolfie* will say something about it.]

Sunday drives around Logan with my roommates--particularly those to the Lonely Bench. Because sometimes, it's easier to deal with life when you're singing along to Taylor Swift as loud as you can with your five best friends. 

Surviving my first year of college; not just with a decent GPA, and my life, but also without a ring on my left hand. 

Conquering my fourth Ragnar, even though the amount of training I did was equal to the amount of Olympic gold medals I have. 

St. George trip with the remaining Snitches. We discovered Swig, Friends at 2 am, and spent absurd amounts of time by the pool. 

SOAR days. Whether it was scooping a dozen gallons of ice cream, trying to calm down yet another angry parent, or giving "tours" on the shuttle--my summer job was the best I'll ever have. 

Designing this "Recycled Fashion" dress. After 15 hours, 2,500 puzzle pieces and almost 100 hot glue sticks--we won Best in Show. What can I say, we're well-rounded. 

Getting 95+ new sisters and developing an affinity for green and white. Kappa Delta is just what I needed in terms of support, motivation, and fun.

It might not have been my favorite part--but sending these guys out on their missions has definitely changed my life. Hearing about their experiences and watching their testimonies grow has strengthened mine, and I'm so proud of all of them. Here's to 2014 bringing them all home.

Documenting the last time the Snitches were all together--and all single. Next time we're all together, there'll be wedding rings involved.

Summer adventures with my #twerkteam. Whether we were swimming in fountains, watching fireworks in Huntsville, cliff jumping at Bloomington or watching yet another movie on the LoveSac, I'm so grateful I met these people and am even more grateful that I can call them some of my closest friends. 

Starting [and being almost done with!] my second year of college. Still not quite sure what exactly I'm going to do with a degree in English Literature...but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

Coming home to my family is my favorite thing. Between hearing my little sisters running through the house and going on late-night shake runs with my little brother, or shopping with my parents--home is definitely my favorite place to be. 

2013 was different. I moved apartments multiple times, and worked two jobs. I said goodbye to the people I care most about--and found friends that I love just as much. I changed my major once, and my hair color more than once [which is evident as you scroll through the pictures. Whoops.]. And I learned a lot about myself. 

So here's to you, 2013. For teaching me that I can do things on my own, and that change is OK. For helping me get out of my comfort zone, and showing me what's important. 

And here's to 2014, for bringing me back the people I love most and for even more adventures, learning, and change. If 2014 is half as good to me as this year has been, I'll be a happy girl. 

Cheers to a new year, and another chance for us to get it right.

The reasons why.

It's the season of gratitude, and I have so much to be grateful for (50 things in this post to be exact). So settle down for a long one. 

50. My heated blanket: because when I woke up this morning and the heat had been turned down below 50 degrees, I could turn it up, and climb back into bed until it warmed up. 

49. Emilie Anne Facer: because everybody needs a twin sister who sticks it out through all the stupid decisions, crazy weekends, and missionary meltdowns. 

48. The Book of Mormon: because after a 23 hour day of school, work, meetings, and friends, the scriptures put everything back into perspective and help me refocus my life. 

47. Judith Anne Roche: because she had a pretty good reason to pretend like I didn't exist, and let me have a second chance instead. Because at 1 am when I'm approaching meltdown point, she understands me and knows exactly what to say. Because she understands me. #yousneakymom

46. Utah State University: because becoming an Aggie is the best decision I ever made, and I can't even begin to describe how much I love my school. I'll bleed blue til the end of time. 

45. Leggings: because sometimes pants are just way too much effort. 

44. Lauren Adamson: because she's lived with me for over a year now and still puts up with my quirks. She listens to me rant, complain, and talk her ear off, and makes me laugh on a daily basis. Because she's a constant example to me of what I want to become. 

43. The post office in the TSC: because when I'm an awful person and forget to write that missionary of mine, the two old men that work there are always curious about how "my friend in Michigan" is doing and if he's been writing me back. 

42. Dr. Pepper: because nothing puts me in a better mood faster or cures the migraines that seem to attack every five seconds.

41. Mary Alayna Lindberg: because she's the reason I try to be the best I can every day. Because she makes me laugh like nobody else can. Because she's my best friend. 

40. My car: because sometimes I just need to leave, get out. 

39. Emily Breanne Elliott: because she taught me how fast an irreplaceable friendship can be made, and tests my patience like nobody else. Because even in Paris, she knows what I need. 

38. Professor Smitten: because a compliment from him is worth a million dollars, and the desire for one of those compliments pushes me harder and further than I've ever been. 

37. Morgan Elizabeth Coles: because she's been there since 8th grade and knows my fears and dreams better than anyone else. Because I know that even when we go months without seeing each other, we can pick right back up where we left off. 

36. Hockey: because it introduced me to some of the best people in my life. Because it gave me an excuse to go somewhere on a Wednesday night. Because it makes me feel like my best friend isn't quite so far away. 

35. My parents: because I wouldn't be here without them. Because they support me in everything I do. Because they made me the person I am today. 

34. Fine-tip ball-point pens: because I don't have room in my schedule for medium-tip, and it's the little things that make me happy. 

33. Braxton Moon: because nobody else can say that they've stuck around for six years. Because he's the only constant in my world full of change. Because he shares his hoodies, gummy bears, and happy hippos with me.

32. My major: because there's nothing else in the world that I love more than words, books, and talking. 

31. Trent Morrison: because he listens to my endless whining, goes shopping with me, and not only understands, but exceeds my love for Beyonce. Because he's a good cuddle buddy, and an even better friend. 

30. Glitter: because it's hard to be sad when you're sparkly. 

29. Ashley Allen: because she's the big sister I've always wanted and finally have. Because she gives me advice that no one else can. Because we're the same person, in so many ways it's terrifying. 

28. Coldstone: because red velvet ice cream can solve any problem in the world. Because ice cream is one thing that brings me and Jon Downing closer than anything else. 

27. Bronson Kunzler: because nobody makes me feel more loved, important, or special like he does. Because he knows everything about me and still thinks I'm incredible. Because he's the boy who has a majority of my heart. 

26. Kappa Delta: because a girl can never have too many sisters. 

25. My bed: because nothing feels better than a dozen pillows, blankets and my giraffe after an exhausting day. 

24. The Snitches of 102: because I wouldn't have survived my first year of college without them. Because they're my best friends, and the ones I would do anything for. 

23. Farmington, Utah: because regardless of where I live, nowhere brings me as much comfort, happiness, and nostalgia as Farmington's Main Street. 

22. These boys: because they've put up with me for five months and still make me laugh harder than anybody else. Because even though they drive me absolutely crazy, they're the best boys I know. 

21.  Country music: because Luke has my heart, Carrie understands, and Miranda tells it like it is. 

20. My Soarority girls: because they made this summer unforgettable and keep me sane. Because they're the best friends a girl could ask for. 

19. My planner: because there's no other way to keep track of my psychotic life. 

18. The Kunzler's: because they let me steal Bronson far too often. Because they let me in on their game nights. Because they're some of the most Christlike, selfless people I know and I'm blessed to have their family play such a huge part in my life. 

17. The piano: because when you can't leave the house and need to escape, nothing works better than Cristofori's Dream.

16. Hailee Jane Henson: because she understands my loathing of cancer. Because she inspires me to be a better person. Because she's the best example I've ever had. 

15. Hair-dye: because when you need a change but can't do a whole lot, it gives me a new start and a renewed sense of confidence. 

14. My cousins: because they're 30+ little minions who love me unconditionally. Because they give me a reason to be a good example. Because they cure me of my baby-hunger. 

13. A-Team: because it gave me the best summer job I'll ever have. Because I made 45 friends I wouldn't have made anywhere else. Because it made my summer unforgettable. 

12. My little brother: because he likes the same music I do and shares my love for In-n-Out shakes. Because he lets me beat him up....not. Because he makes me laugh. 

11. Sigma Phi Epsilon: because those boys have given me some of the greatest boys I've ever known. Whether it's Derek running to Hobby Lobby with me, Dusty dancing while I do my homework, Trevor going to dinner with me in his pajamas, Kurt giving me life advice, Zack finding me new music, Brady giving me a compliment, Kendall hacking my computer, or Matt experiencing Pumpkin Spice Lattes for the first time, these boys provide me with daily entertainment and friendships that I value more than I can express. Because I'd do anything for them and am blessed to call them friends. 

10. Marley McClune: because she accompanied me on a thousand adventures this summer and understands my soft drink addiction.

9. The temple: because it's given me the most important goal in my life and allowed me to have an eternal family. Because there's nothing more important to me than getting there someday with the boy I love, and the lessons we learn there are the most important knowledge I'll ever have. 

8. Liz Rumball: because she reminds me to wear my shoes, eat on a regular basis, and do my homework. Because at 2 am, she's the one I'm talking to in my car. Because she'll drop anything and everything to help me out. 

7. My oldest little sister: because she makes me food and watches movies with me. Because she shops with me even when she doesn't want to. Because she does everything with me and is my first best friend. 

6. My Viewmont boys: because high school was different because of them. Because they're my favorite dates, pen pals, and missionaries. Because they've changed my life--and continue to do so every day. 

5. Home: because whether it's Logan, Farmington, Kaysville, or anywhere with my best friends, I love the memories that accompany each place. 

4. My grandma: because she's my biggest hero and the greatest example I'll ever have. 

3. The priesthood: because whether it's a bishop's advice, a father's blessing, or my patriarchal blessing, I know what I'm hearing is coming from my Father in Heaven. 

2. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints: because it makes sense when nothing else does. Because it never changes and is the sure foundation I need. Because it continually changes my life and allows me to serve in ways otherwise impossible. Because it's the only true church, and everything I need. 

1. My life: because as crazy and chaotic as it seems at times, I truly love every single aspect of it. Because I'm grateful for everything I get to do, the experiences I have, and the people I'm surrounded by. 

I'm a lucky girl, and I am very, very, blessed. 

The little things.

Somedays, it's just so easy to be happy. 

Because even in the middle of tests, work, essays, and a to-do list that is longer than you are tall, you have the chance to see how absolutely incredible your life is.

There's no better way to celebrate your best friend's birthday than by smashing a homemade cake in his face. Tennessee orange looks real good in our hair and on the floor of SigEp. So glad this kid and his camo-loving Southern charm are such a big part of my life. Thanks for being born, Brian. 

Went to Frightmares for the first time for SigEp's informal, and had the best date in the group. 

My big is better than your big. We're so alike--even have the same name--and she keeps my head screwed on straight. I honestly don't know what I'd do without Ash, Liz and Judy--even though sometimes I have three extra mothers lecturing me and making sure I make good decisions. 

I'd do just about anything for these boys, and there's nothing better after a long day than a note like this and Dirty Dr. Peppers with two of my favorite boys. 

You can't fake a love like this. Honestly, this is sheer adoration in it's simplest form. 

As Winnie the Pooh said, "sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart." There isn't a thing on this planet I wouldn't do for this little girl. 

Everywhere I look, in every aspect of my life, I'm blessed. 

My calendar may be jam-packed with a million big ideas and huge deadlines, but it's the little things in the spare seconds that make everything worth it. 

I stand all amazed.

I went home today, for the first time in what seems like forever--and luckily for me, it was our ward's primary program. 

Don't get me wrong, I love every Sunday. But there's something so special about the primary program I can't even handle it. 

My three-year-old sister Mary was the first talk, and to say that she blew me away would be an understatement. Not many kids her age can memorize a three minute talk, and give it as well as she did. 

One of the last parts of her talk had her saying, "I know..." and I don't think I've ever been so profoundly impacted by a child's testimony. Miss Mary knows that her Heavenly Father loves her, and she's not afraid to share her testimony...and I love that. 

Then in Relief Society, we talked about how our words influence those around us--mainly our children--and how important it is to be kind. It reminded me of this quote:

I think that sometimes, it's easy to forget how wonderful people can be. We get hung up on the snarky comments, the gossip, and the belittlement that happens--and forget entirely about the compliments, service, and kindness that the people around us share. 

That reminded me of this quote [welcome to my brain. Moving at a million miles a second, in seven thousand different directions].

I have never seen my Heavenly Father, but I do know Him--because of the people around me and the things they do. 

I see Him in the way Mary read me a book before I took a nap today. 

I see Him in the way Braxton will drive around with me for hours trying to calm me down and alleviate stress. 

I see Him in the way Hillary is always ready and willing to help, listen, and give her all. 

I see Him in the way Jon goes out of his way to make sure I'm okay. 

I see Him in the way my mom still texts me every time I drove home from Kaysville to make sure I made it to Logan safe. 

I see Him in the way Rachelle has dinner with my great-grandparents every week.

I see Him in the way people like the Smith's, Brimley's, Frodsham's, Fife's, and so many others have-maybe unknowingly-stepped in to fill the void left by family members. 

I see Him in the way Carrie and Clint come to Logan and visit with their boys when Clint has to work up here. 

I see Him in the way Bronson and Emily know exactly what I need to hear, even after 6+ months of not seeing each other. 

I've never seen my Heavenly Father, but He is familiar to me; and like Mary, I know he loves me. 

I'm blessed to be surrounded by so many good people--people who help me forget that not-so-good things that happen, and who truly amaze me on a regular basis. 

To say that I'm an incredibly lucky girl would be an understatement.

Take a breath.

I'm an English major, with an emphasis in Literary Studies. 

Which basically means that for 80% of my classes, I read a book, and then either write an essay about how I felt about said book or talk about it in class. 

I get to read, write, and talk for my homework. 

It's wonderful. 

But even with all the new material I get to read, nothing makes me happier than being able to sit down on the couch in my pajamas, and read my favorite book on the planet: Alexandre Dumas' The Count of Monte Cristo.

I read this book as a sophomore in high school, and have read it repeatedly since--and I mean the full, unabridged version. I'm that girl. 

I fall more and more in love with the Count every time. 

I want to be Mercedes, and I want a love like her and Edmond's. 

And I cry every single time I get to this letter. 

Sometimes I feel like my life is a constant battle between two extremes--much like Edmond mentions here. 

Attitude changes everything. 

We're all going to have bad days. But rather than throwing a tantrum (my usual method of coping), look at it this way. You're having a bad day, yes. But how lucky are we to know that it's bad, because we have something equally as good to compare it to. 

You're going to be lonely sometimes, it happens. But think about all the friends you've spent time with that you're missing in that moment. 

Some days, you're going to be so busy you don't have a single minute to yourself. In the seconds between running out the door and starting your car, consider yourself lucky to be active, and look forward to the breathing time you'll get eventually. 

Life sucks sometimes, it really does. You get pushed around, kicked while you're down, and don't seem to have time to recover. But you wouldn't know how bad that felt unless you'd experienced the other end of the spectrum: the moments you laughed until you cried, that time you watched the sunset with your best friends, or that ice cream cone that just made your week. 

Life is all about balance; weighing the good against the bad, and vice versa. 

This morning, I was scheduled to work at 5:30 a.m. If that wasn't bad enough, I slept through my alarms, and woke up to a call from one of my coworkers asking if I was coming. 

I got to work completely flustered, and feeling like I was never going to catch up--and it wasn't even 6 a.m!

Then they informed us that a tour bus of 45 people was coming in--in the middle of the lunch rush. They needed me to stay until 1:30 or so...and I had a speech to give at 2:30. 

I got home from work at 1:45, submitted my less-than-stellar outline in record time, and sped up to my class as fast as possible.

I gave my speech, and came home, relieved that I'd survived that part of my day. 

This morning was crazy, and I could barely stand on my own two feet by this afternoon. 

But then I got to watch the KD's play football in the rain, worked on a fashion design project with miss Hayley (while we watched High School Musical), and then got to relax and watch part of Hercules with one of my best friends. 

By the time I got into bed a little while ago, the good things had almost completely overshadowed the longer parts of my day, and everything was OK again.

Balance, people. It's important. 

Next time you're running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, you can't seem to catch a break, or when you want to move to a cave in Siberia...remember how lucky you are to be as happy as you were. Not many people get to experience such a wide range of emotions. 

And like the Count said, Wait, and hope.

The bad days won't last forever--and the good days will make everything worth it. 

Just like you.

When it comes to my mom, I think Abraham Lincoln said it best: 

"All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." 

I may be my father's daughter, but I'm just like my mom. 

We look alike, we talk alike, and we love the same things. 

It took me a long time to realize how much I needed her--18 years, actually. 

I used to laugh when my aunts would call my grandma dozens of times, every single day. 

Now, my siblings probably make fun of me for doing the same thing. 

She's basically both of the angels on my shoulders. 

She knows exactly what I need to hear, and helps me decide what to do--whether I agree with it or not. 

She's the one telling me to try whatever it is I'm debating; and she's the one telling me to wear longer dresses and different shirts. 

She's the one keeping my head screwed on straight when I want to strangle a friend/roommate/boy/coworker/sibling, and the one that constantly offers support and input in everything I do. 

She gets my obsession Audrey Hepburn and Michael Buble, and understands my love for the heel of the bread loaf. 

She's the reason I love music, Broadway, and baking cupcakes.

She makes my favorite foods (sometimes even lets me get away with not drinking my milk), and makes sure I'm getting enough sleep. 

She never questions my decisions, but she's always there to offer help when the decisions I make aren't exactly the best. 

She knows how I feel about being ignored by people I care about, and continually feeds the army of people I always seem to bring home with me. 

But most importantly, she gets me. 

She didn't question me when I wanted to fly to a national convention in Anaheim, or when I decided to play lacrosse two days after the season started. She didn't discourage me when I applied for A-Team, a job neither of us knew nothing about, and she doesn't try and talk me out of the various adventures I tell her I want to go on. 

She makes a point to get to know all of my friends and then takes care of them like they're another one of my siblings.
In the face of many family issues the last few years, she's made a special effort to make everything easier for the rest of us: helping us build relationships to replace family members who have abandoned us, emphasized the doctrine of eternal families after my grandma passed away, and making an effort to teach us the importance of not holding grudges, Christ-like service, and learning to forgive. My mom's testimony has been a vital part of the last decade of my life, and I don't know where I'd be without it.
I don't know where I'd be without her, either. 

She's ambitious, dedicated, and passionate. She's patient, honest, and caring. 

And someday, if I can be half the mom that she is, I'll know I've done something right. 

Happy Birthday, Mom. :) 

Your little girl.

It's my Dad's birthday today. 

That means the world has been a better place for 43 years. 

Those of you who know my dad know exactly what I mean when I say my dad is amazing. 

He knows just about everything, and what he doesn't know, he figures out. 

He knows how to tune a bike like a pro, and smokes some of the best BBQ I've ever had. 

He's the best sports photographer our athletic teams ever hired, and I have him to thank for my blonde hair and green eyes. 

He's the first person I call when I have a question, I'm in trouble, or I don't know what to do. 

He's the one I think about when I'm making a big decision, and who I aim to please in everything I do. 

He's the perfect example of the kind of man I want to marry. 

Smart, loyal, funny, spiritual. Organized, dedicated, family oriented, supportive. 

I've been out of the house for a year now, and I see more of him in myself every day.

He's the reason I've always tried my hardest in school (well that, and a little exterior motivation called a cell phone). 

He's the reason I've run across the across the Wasatch Front for one weekend every year. 

He's the reason I can out-eat most boys in ribs and brisket. 

He's the reason I love John Grisham, Vince Flynn, Robert McCammon, and Lincoln & Child.

He's the reason I cry, all the freaking time. He's the biggest cry baby I know (and I'll probably get in trouble for saying that). 

He's the reason I love Chocolate English Toffee ice cream, football, and Utah State. 

But most importantly? He's the reason I'm here. 

My friends all love my dad; like almost obsessively. 

Everybody wants to be Russ's best friend. 

I don't even want to count the number of times Dallin's made me make sure to tell my dad that he loves him, how many times I've had boys show up at my house just wanting to hang out with my dad, and one time, I even got mad at my dad for texting at the dinner table....only to find out he was talking to Spencer. 

He's the best; and everyone is very aware of that fact. 

I'm incredibly lucky to have such an amazing example in my life. My dad's family is a little...psycho. And he has every reason in the world to be bitter about it. But for the last 10 years, he's used the situation to teach us kids about forgiveness, and accepting what we can't change. He's the perfect example of service: whether he's installing radar detectors in our neighbors cars, smoking loads of pulled pork for other people's family BBQ's, or taking dance pictures for yet another group of high schoolers, he does it without question. My dad has an amazing testimony--and he lives it everyday. 

He'll always be the first man I ever loved, and I'll always be a daddy's girl. That's just how life goes. 

The moral of the story is, I absolutely adore my dad, for a million different reasons. But the number one reason I love him? He lets me be me. He supports me in whatever I do. 

Jim Valvano said it best: "My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: he believed in me." And for that? I owe him everything I have been, am, and want to become. 

Happy Birthday, Dad. I love you. :) 

Escape from reality.

With two of the original roommates out on their missions, the remaining four of us decided there was nothing else to do but escape our lives and responsibility for the week. St. George was the best way to forget about the chaos of our lives for a second, and it was an excellent way to catch up with my best friends. 

I'd never been to Tuacahn before, and Kenzie got a ridiculously good deal on tickets to Thoroughly Modern Millie. I loved musicals before, but I decided that there's no better way to experience than nestled in the red rock of Southern Utah. That ampitheater is beautiful. And the musical itself made me want to live in the 20's more than I've ever wanted to before. 

We also learned a very valuable lesson...don't let the adorable old lady attempt to get a picture of you jumping into the pool. 

Obviously, we spent a majority of our time laying out by the pool. It was nice to finally let my skin see the sun, after being in polos and at work every other day this summer. [And I didn't get a sunburn. #winner.]

This picture is really only here to show you how excited we were to not be in the cave anymore, not have jobs to worry about, and be in air conditioning--well that, and how stoked Lauren was to share a bed with me for four nights. I may or may not talk in my sleep. And she might have woken up with me taking over the whole bed and with my arms around her once or twice. I like my sleep, okay?? Also, it's almost physically impossible for us to take a decent picture together. This is about as good as it gets. 

This basically sums up our whole adventure. A whole lot of time together, no makeup, top knots, swimsuits, enough shopping to fulfill my wardrobe wishes, and hotel beds. 

I guess you could say I consider myself very lucky to have had some of the best roommates imaginable. These girls keep me sane--and that's not always an easy job. They understand when I flip out in the middle of traffic, and don't judge when we decide to sleep through the hotel breakfast. They get the fact that I'll watch Friends at any hour of the day, and laugh at my weird jokes. 

I'm so glad I can call these ladies my best friends, and can't wait to see where this year takes us. 

I wish you all 5's, girls. :)