Tis the season.

Last weekend was a whirlwind of last minute shopping trips, curling and re-curling all the little girls' hair, and dancing under strings of tiny lights to celebrate the fact that these two finally tied the knot. 

They're perfect for each other--and Desiree is perfect for our family. 

Weddings are magical. 

I love love. 

I love weddings.

I love Andy + I love Des. 

I love that they found each other. 

Friday Confessions: Valentine's Edition.

1. Listening to this song makes me feel like what it must feel like to be in love. 

2. A large part of my heart will always belong to Justin Timberlake [just in general], Zac Efron [HSM and 17 Again], and Matthew Mcconaughey [How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days].

3. I wore real pants for the first time in days yesterday--yoga pants, work pants and dresses don't count for me--and I hated every second of it. Getting ready is hard. So is wearing real clothes. 

4. When I get engaged, I don't care how he proposes....as long as it isn't at Temple Square, on Valentine's day, or Christmas/New Year's Eve. I'm not about that cliche life--as cute as they are. 

5. I'm a hopeless romantic. I love getting flowers. I cry in just about every love story. I want a whirlwind romance, a fairytale wedding, and a happily ever after. I'm in love with the idea of love. 

6. I giggled like a little girl while I opened packages this afternoon. A Twinkie dressed like a minion? Bubbles? Loads and loads of candy? A pillow-pet? I got spoiled today--and today isn't even over yet. I'm so incredibly lucky to have some pretty amazing people love me. 

6. I'm obsessed with proposal videos/wedding videos/love story videos. Hailey & Brad Devine's videos win the "Cutest Videos in the History of the World" award, every. single. time. 

Valentine's Day is wonderful--and I don't know how you could not be happy today. Love is a wonderful thing. 

In the air.

I love love--in every form.
Whether it's bf+gf love, the love I have for my Monsters in Literature class, family love, or the somewhat unhealthy love I have for shopping and Dr. Pepper...I love it.
Which is why I love Valentine's Day.
[I'm hopelessly single, folks. But that doesn't mean I have to call it Single's Awareness Day. Like they say....you don't need a Ferrari to be grateful on Thanksgiving, and you don't need a relationship to love on Valentine's. Preach it.]
I'm pretty vocal about my feelings [let's be real, I'm pretty vocal about everything] and I make a point to tell the people I care about "I love you" as often as possible. Because as cliche as it sounds, you never know when somebody needs to hear it, or when you're going to see them next...all that stuff.
As much as I say it, I've learned that love isn't only said in three words.
It's in the things you do for other people, the way you treat them, the things you say.

I hear it in every "how was work?" "I have a Dr. Pepper for you!" and "text me when you get home."
I see it in the faces of my little sisters when I walk in the door, the number of texts in my group messages, and the envelopes letters from my best friend come in.
I hear it in every "I need you in my life," "come hang out with me," and "I miss you."
I see it in goodnight texts from my dad, sleepovers with my best friends, and random pins on Pinterest.
I hear it in every "can you help me with this," "don't go home yet," and "see you tomorrow!"

Hemingway was right, love is a many splendored thing--and we'd be lost without it.

My lucky day.

It's my favorite missionary's birthday today, and to say I was grateful for today would be the understatement of the century.

It's not everyday you meet somebody who knows every detail of your life and still loves you. Bronson is the most patient, forgiving, entertaining person I know, and I honestly don't know where I'd be without him. 

When my Grandma passed away, he kept my head above water and made sure I was okay--and let me know it was okay if I wasn't. 

When I was working late, he'd wait up and make sure I got home safe; and would drive home with me because he knows how much I hate driving at night. 

When we had finals last fall, he bring me food when I'd been in the library all day; and he even came with Jon and made sure Paige and I got up on time for our psychology final when we'd been studying all night the night before. 

When my birthday came around this year, even though it had been almost 7 months since we'd seen each other, he sent me a package of my favorite things--and on Valentine's Day he had Jon surprise me with a dozen roses, because he knows how much I love flowers. 

He knows me better than anybody else. He gets my irrational fears, supports my crazy dreams, and even laughs at my stupid jokes.

He eats the peach jelly beans, green Dots and gummy bears, and vanilla Frosty's that I hate. 

He understands what I mean when I say, "I HATE cancer." 

He stays with me when we snowboard, even though he's much better than I am and could easily leave me behind. 

He laughs at my jokes. 

He shares my disdain for BYU. 

He teaches me how to be a gracious loser--and does the same when I destroy him in bowling. 

He's completely honest with me, 100% of the time. 

He knows everything about me: he understands my worries and frustrations, acknowledges my dreams, and knows my fears. 

He never fails to tell me I'm beautiful; whether it's at 3 am during a stressful finals week, on the ski lift after a massive crash while snowboarding, in the car on a date, or while I'm in tears for some random reason. 

He's patient with me--more so than just about anyone I know--even when I won't decide where we should go for dinner, whose car we're taking, what movie to watch, or who to hang out with, he's patient and eventually makes most of the decisions. 

He keeps me focused and motivated.

He always knows what to say. Even though he's 1,500 miles away and I only hear from him twice a week--Friday's letters are always full of exactly what I need to hear, and Monday morning emails never fail to make me smile. 

He's the reason I love hockey, go to Aggie basketball games, and can tolerate driving. 

He makes me laugh harder than anyone else, smile when I'd rather cry, and can drive me crazy in a matter of seconds. 

He's the patient one when I'm stressed, the forgiving one when I'm judgmental, and the grounded one when I'm day dreaming and unfocused. 

He keeps me sane, motivated, and constantly surprised. 

Some days, I miss him so much it hurts...and I'm not ashamed to admit that I'll drive the neighborhoods of Logan by myself, listening to Rascal Flatts and talking out loud trying to figure out what he'd say in the present situation. 

Long story short, he's my very best friend. And even though I miss him like crazy, I know he's exactly where he's supposed to be. Michigan sure is a lucky place. 

He's been gone almost a whole year, and that means in just over a year, he'll be home. And everything will be okay again. 

Happy Birthday, Elder! 

We can't stop.

When your daily routine gets a little too routine, and you're out of adventures to go on, you have to get a little creative. 

This would be us [the #TwerkTeam] running around campus at midnight in our swimsuits. Shenanigans, dance parties, and foreign activities took place. 

Being the classy individuals that we are, sushi is always a yes. But in case you were wondering, sushi + ice cream in the same night is always a no. 

And when we all finally have a day off work, we caravan up to Bloomington Lake. With a rope swing, cliffs to jump, crystal clear water, a group of my best friends, and a view like this....

you can't go wrong. I could live on the side of this lake and not feel bad about it for a second. You really don't need much more in life than water, sunshine, a rope swing, and cliffs to jump off of.

 When two of your friends haven't been to Ikea...you pile six people into a five person car, and make the two hour drive to Draper. You play house for two hours, fail to buy the couch we went there for in the first place, and introduce the bunch of crazies you spend every day with to your family [this picture epitomizes Brian. So he gets to deal with it. That, and it was the only picture that we took on my phone all day].

When Trent needs help with a video about AED's for campus, Wolfie "dies" and Big Blue takes off his shirt.  

[Bonus: I got to hang out with Big Blue all day.]

And even after all these crazy adventures, sometimes there's nothing I'd rather do than sit on Braxton's bed with my favorite boys and watch them play video games, Tinder, or listen to Selena Gomez until way too early in the morning--even if it involves dozens of pictures of Trent&Sherlock, Brian, and ____ Braxy Brax.

I guess I'm just very very glad I met--and got to really know--these boys this summer. I was worried about not having people to do stuff with...but that fear disappeared very quickly. 

Brian, Trent, Michael, and Braxton [and the rest of the SigEp boys + the other A-Teamers] made this summer a blast and a half. Whether we were doing back flips off a rope swing, fighting with pool noodles in the basement, playing watching Minecraft on Braxton's bed, hitting up McDonald's for yet another large drink in a styrofoam cup, attending Beyonce Home Evening, playing Snapchat telephone, swimming in the fountains, twerking all over campus, or fighting over what movie to watch on LoveSacs...I had a blast. 

S/O to the #twerkteam for a perfect summer, and for becoming some of my best friends. I guess I kinda like you people. 

Once each year.

Sometimes, just when you don't think you can handle one more emotion being thrown in your face, life hits you like a figurative brick wall. 

I thought I finally had everything under control after moving all week, working all weekend, and finishing finals; but I hadn't really had time to process what month it was. I've never been a fan of May, it's windy, it's AP week (or finals, now), and the anticipation for summer is getting the best of everyone. 

So when I got a letter from my best friend on Friday that said, "I know your least favorite day of the year is coming up. And I want you to know that I'm thinking about you, that the Plan of Salvation is real, and families ARE forever." I was caught a little off guard. 

Then I realized what he meant. It's been three years since my Grandma passed away; three years since the hardest day of my life. 

Even though I miss her so much it hurts to breathe somedays, I've learned so much over the last three years; things I wouldn't have learned otherwise. 

The night she passed away, after I'd told my friends good night, turned off my cell phone, and my family had gone to bed, I turned to my scriptures, desperate for some kind of comfort. 

Opening to a handout in the New Testament, I turned the page to 2nd Corinthians 4:17, which reads: 

"For our light affliction  which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. " 

Even though I wouldn't want to go through any of that again, I know that I wouldn't be the same person without that trial. I've learned how to rely on my Heavenly Father for comfort, and how to apply the Atonement to my life. I learned how incredible my family truly is, and I think the sealing power we find in the temples is even more amazing now. I know how much it hurt to lose my grandma, and at the time, that seemed like the worst thing in the world to me--and it might have been. But I do know that that trial will be worth it in the end, when I get to see her again in the spirit world and be with her for eternity. The pain of that loss is nothing compared to the glory we'll experience after. 

In the meantime though, I'll do my best to follow her example. To love without hesitation, and serve without a second thought. To focus on others more than I focus on myself, and set goals that will help me in a celestial sense. I want to be the kind of mother she was, and the kind of relationship that she and my grandpa have. During her fight with cancer, she adopted a motto of sorts, the phrase "You can do hard things" and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't applied that in my own life. I can do hard things, and I will keep doing hard things--because I had a nearly perfect example of endurance to follow. 

I love you, Grandma. 

Every good thing.

I've come to the conclusion that life likes making me emotional. 

This week, as we've been registering for the next semester, applying for new apartments, and packing up everything we own for our move home, I've realized once again how absolutely incredible this school year has been. 

In the last nine months, these girls have become my best friends, my sisters, and my go-to's. 

We've gone through break ups, finals weeks, and funerals together. 

We've sent off missionaries, opened mission calls, and been accepted to other schools. 

We've shared each other's clothes, dyed each other's hair, and made each other cry (ONLY ONCE, THOUGH).

You couldn't find five better people anywhere in the world. 

These are the girls who offered input on a letter to grandparents I hadn't seen in years, and then drove with me to find their house in the middle of the night. 

These are the girls who listened to my pointless rambling and endless whining about boys, and then got as excited as I did when things started working out. 

These are the girls who had Dr. Pepper and letters waiting for me the day I said goodbye to Bronson, and the ones who cried with me when I realized that a vast majority of my friends were leaving. 

These are the girls I stay up with all night talking about the future, doing homework, and thinking about life. 

They're the ones I go to for everything, the ones whose closets I share, the ones I hurry back up to Logan for. 

They're the first people I call when something good happens, and the ones I go crying to when something is wrong. 

They know what to do when I'm having a bad day, and how to knock my ego down a few steps when I'm being a brat. 

And I honestly don't know where I'd be without them. Kenzie makes fun of me because I say that everyone is my "best friend." But when it comes down to it, I really only have five of those. 

They've changed my life more in these last nine months than I would have ever imagined, and I am grateful for them every single day. 

Grateful for the fact that I've been able to call Emi my best friend for the last six years. 

Grateful for having Kenzie there with me every step of the way these last few months. 

Grateful that Adrienne thinks I'm worth living with another year. 

Grateful that I found another twin in Lauren. 

Grateful that Kelsey knows how to always make me laugh, and helped me survive last semester. 

But mostly, I'm grateful that somebody realized how much I needed these girls. 

So here's to us, 102. 

For making our freshman year the best it could have been, and for giving us the best friends a girl could ask for. Because even though all good things come to an end, we've got years ahead of us. 

I owe you the world, girls. 

Just a minute.

It's no secret that I despise Mondays. And I have yet to find something [inanimate, at least] that I hate more than Monday mornings. Yesterday though, was way different. I rolled over, and picked up my phone because it was freaking out while downloading emails. First name that pops up....Bronson Kunzler. I sat STRAIGHT up and bed, more awake than I had been in days. Between him figuring out a nice way to tell me to stop talking, learning what a "Michigan minute" was, and making me laugh like he was right here, I discovered that there's seriously nothing better than starting your day off with a "talk" with your best friend (if you can call it that) and yesterday was wonderful because of it.
In his email, he told me about an investigator they're teaching and he talked about the Atonement. As I was reading his testimony about this incredible event, I remembered a talk that Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave in General Conference a few years ago.
He spoke about the Atonement, and the sacrifice that it was for our Savior to suffer and atone for our sins like He did, and ended with what is probably my favorite quote in the history of General Conference.

"...may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in world only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ "at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death," for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone." 

Today? Take a little extra time to be grateful for our Savior and his sacrifice. Because I'm grateful.
Grateful that there's someone who understands how I'm feeling when I can't sleep at 3 a.m.
Grateful that there's someone who understands how I feel when I ace a test.
Grateful that there's someone who understands what it's like to miss someone so much it physically hurts.
Grateful that there's someone who understands how excited I get when I get to see my little sisters.
Grateful that there's someone who not only knows how I'm feeling every second of every day, but someone who has felt it exactly like I have.
That's what the Atonement does for us. And it's just one of a million and a half reasons why I love this gospel.

Happy Tuesday, folks.



[p.s. If you want to read/watch/listen to Elder Holland's whole talk, go here. I promise, it's worth it.] 

Just hold on.

Having all your best friends gone or in the process of leaving gives you a new perspective on life. 

I used to spend every day trying to figure out ways to spend time with them and keep them happy, and now? I've got all the time in the world to make me happy. Rather than driving home every weekend to be with friends, I spend my weekends doing my best to make sure I make something of myself while they're out changing lives. 

And it's been wonderful. 

Wednesday night, I spent a solid 8 1/2 hours in the library. Studying, writing my English papers, and actually doing my homework. I took time to really think about what I was doing and put effort into the research I was doing. I wrote in my journal for the first time in a week and a half. Wrote way too many pages of missionary letters. Emailed some high school seniors about the wonders of USU and answered way too many questions about graduation requirements and on-campus housing. Looked over my runs for Ragnar and died a little inside. Did a whole lot of soul searching. 

I realized a few things. 

1. I'm much more productive when I'm by myself. I hate every second of being alone, mind you, but I can focus and the distractions are limited to making sure I like the song playing in my headphones and finding more ice to chew on.

And 2. I'm a very, very, very lucky girl. I have parents who love and support me in everything I do. Siblings who make me smile everyday. Roommates who I love like the five extra sisters I never had. Boys who go out of their way to make me happy. Two jobs that I love doing, keep me busy, and allow me to do whatever I want. I'm going to school where I've always wanted to. I'm studying something I love.  

  And as weird as it may sound, I'm glad I miss these kids. Because it means I have some incredible examples and amazing friends out there. 

I have a quote on one of my pinboards that says "...I learned a lot about being a friend when I was alone." And it's so true. My friends are just starting out on their 18-24 months adventures, and I can already tell how much they're changing, and I can see myself changing too...all in such good ways. I've learned to take more time for myself, and focus on what I need; all while making sure I'm not missing a single opportunity to do something kind for those around me. It's changed my perspective on a lot of things. I'm more grateful for what I have, that's for sure. And more excited to have everyone home again in a couple years because I actually know how lucky I am now. 

I guess the moral of the story is...my life is great. And it feels good to finally be content with where you are, what you're doing, and who you're becoming. 

Back to basics.

This morning, I found out that one of my friends had lost his mom. No one wants to get that news, and it was a complete shock to all of us. 

I never knew Andrew's mom, but I know Andrew really well. He's one of the funniest people I know, and he always has a smile on his face. Andrew is truly brilliant, and he's always up to talk. He keeps me company during missionary farewells, and his spontaneous karaoke performances never cease to entertain us all. And when I heard that his mom had passed away, my heart broke. 

Losing someone you love is the hardest thing in the world; and nothing will ever make it okay. 

Today has been a simple reminder to me that I need to be more grateful for my family, and for the knowledge I have that I can be with them forever. I'm so grateful for this gospel and for the comfort it brings to me every day. 

I know that nothing we say can make the hurt go away when someone loses a loved one. But I hope that our knowledge of eternal families can bring peace. 

Give your friends and family an extra hug today, and tell your mom you love her. And pray for the Hough family. 

We love you, Andrew.

You wouldn't have guessed.

I'm deathly afraid of spiders [they send me into shaking, hyper-ventilating, full-on panic mode]. My favorite color is either purple or grey, and I hate the color pink; I think I own maybe two articles of pink clothing in my entire wardrobe. I'm an English major, who wants nothing more than to go to cosmetology school. I idolize Audrey Hepburn and Katy Perry. I really do love being a waitress. As dumb as that sounds, I get to interact and talk to tons of different people each day, every day is different, and I'm constantly moving. My hand-eye coordination level is zero, as is my sense of time. I have the worst attention span in the universe: at this very second, I have twelve internet tabs open, Instagram reloading on my phone, and Pandora playing in the background. I only focus on the things I really care about, or when something is very important...like my Relief Society lessons, or my English homework. I never stop reading. I'll read anything and everything you give me, and will probably annotate the crap out of it and pick out quotes that I love from every thing I read. I brush my teeth probably twelve million times a day, because I hate the way it feels after you eat. I want twins more than anything else in this whole world. I want to live in a big city, maybe for just a summer. Somewhere like New York City. Or Chicago. Or even Seattle or Austin. I want a real city experience...preferably doing something cliche like editing a fashion magazine, being a super hot-topic artist, or producing a hit reality TV show. Personally, I don't think there is anything worse than a Monday morning. I hate Mondays, even though I can never quite say why. I just do. There are few things I want more out of my job than a paycheck that is more than $50.00, or a shift that doesn't end with me covered in salad dressing, syrup, and powdered sugar, or require a full body massage to remove the tennis-ball sized knots from my shoulders. I'm really a natural blonde [don't let the purple hair fool you] and my hair is naturally curly [my blow-dryer and flat-iron are my best friends.] I love peppermint, but only if it's cold enough it makes your eyes water. Extra Polar Ice gum is my weakness in life. I'd take a massive steak over a salad any day of the week; and I probably eat more than most twelve-year-old boys. It's physically impossible for me to walk in high heels. My favorite places in the world are my bed, the sidelines of an ice rink, or anywhere with water and a temperature of more than 80 degrees. I have a real big problem with online shopping. I can't sleep unless I have at least three pillows and all my blankets--flannel sheets, a down comforter, bedspread, heated blanket, and the blanket I got from my family for graduation--on my bed. I sleep in a nest, basically. I'm awful at card games [except Rook. Which I sometimes randomly beat everybody at], and even worse at Liar's Dice. I have a rather impressive collection of maxi skirts and colored denim. I'd rather stay home and watch a movie than go to a party...but I hate being alone, probably more than just about anything. I want to meet Katy Perry someday. I wouldn't mind owning a Yorkshire Terrier. If you get me laughing, there's a good chance you'll see me cry too...I can't laugh without tears, happy ones of course. I don't like dessert unless it's chocolate, and vanilla is just a waste of calories to me. I don't like milk, yogurt, or bananas. My little sisters are my best friends. I am absolutely and completely in love with every single aspect of my busy, bizarre, and beautiful life. 

Luck of the draw.

To say that yesterday was absolutely wonderful would be a serious understatement. 

My English professor gave some more ego-boosting compliments to my essay [and asked for ideas on how to make students interested in my favorite book, The Count of Monte Cristo.]

My next English professor told me that she'd finished editing my essay and she thought I was a "captivating writer and [she] enjoyed every word of [my essay]."

After I shared this Valentine's picture from my mom [caption: "Ashley, I mustache you to be my Valentine] with my institute teacher, he told me my sister was probably the cutest little girl he'd seen in a long time. [I agreed of course.]

Lauren, Kenzie, Emi, Adrienne and I went on a "date" to the Hub for bagels and cream cheese. 

I actually stayed awake in physics!

Dylan sent me a picture of some flowers and a sweet Valentine's day message. [And I talked to him for the first time in weeks. In case you were wondering, it sucks having one best friend gone for two years and the other in Alabama. Don't try this at home.]

I got a surprise letter from Bronson, and Jon and I were able to mail the cookies in time for him to get them before he flies to Detroit Monday morning. 

I got to wear a pink game day shirt to work, and everyone was in a wonderful mood. 

The cooks surprised me and Heidi with flowers, chocolates, cards, and teddy bears. [Two random girls we'd never seen in our lives walked in with these huge bags and bouquets and boxes and asked for us. The looks on the faces of the people in the restaurant were priceless.]

Jon, Tenille, Kaydee, Dylan, Mike, and Stephen came in to work and paid me all sorts of compliments and tips. 

Paige told me that she'd read this happy blog and thought that I was just great and she wanted to hang out with me and my roommates more because our lives sounded so fun. [They are. Promise.]

I came home to a bouquet of roses and a sweet note from Bronson. [Side story: In my letter today, there was a letter for Jon. All I saw of it was the envelope it was sealed tight in, that said "This is for Jon. Don't you DARE read it." I assumed it was some secret bro code, and I wasn't going to read it anyway. I don't think any of you understand how lucky I am to have boys like Bronson and Jon and Dylan in my life to keep me sane and remind me, constantly, that I am loved.]

The moral of the story is, I love Valentine's Day. And yesterday definitely gave me another million and a half reasons to love it. 

I love love.

It's Valentine's Day! Probably one of my favorite holidays in the whole world...I mean what girl doesn't love flowers and chocolate and the words "I love you"? No one sane, that's for sure. 

Valentine's Day isn't just about being in love, it's about love in general. 

My favorite kinds of love?
The way my mom makes my favorite food when I get home, or finishes my laundry for me. How she buys a carton of orange juice for me to take back up to school because she knows how much I love it. How she doesn't argue when I drive home from Logan just to pick up my snowboard and a few other things, and just tells me to make sure I drive safe. 

The way it feels to get a sincere compliment from complete stranger.

The way my dad sends me emails out of the blue that always say exactly what I need to hear. How he texts me before he goes to bed just to make sure I had a good day. How he spends hours making sure my car works okay, or doesn't laugh when Ryan and I head to In-n-Out at midnight....again. 

The way it feels when you listen to your favorite song, watch your favorite movie, or read your favorite book. 

The way Hailee drives from Bountiful to spend the night with Emi and I and stays up way too late talking to me, and making sure I'm alright. The way she listens to all my irrational fears, and then offers a rational alternative and sound advice. The way she gives me music suggestions not because she knows I love music, but because she knows how much I love the lyrics. 

The way it feels to find a scripture that answers the question you've had in your head all day. 

The way Bronson snowboards with me all day, and even though he could be with Jackson and Jared and Jon and Paige, he stays with me and doesn't laugh (too hard) when I spend most of the time on my face. How every May 5th for three years, I've had a bouquet of flowers delivered from him, because he knows it's a rough day and how much I love flowers. How he comes to ColdStone with me and Jon even though he hates ice cream. 

The way it feels to fill a whole page in your journal with your favorite memories. 

The way my little sisters yell my name when I come home, and how Mary begs to have a sleepover with me every single night. How they fight over who gets to run errands with me, and who gets to go through the bank drive thru and get suckers. 

The way it feels to get a hug from someone you've been missing. 

The way Jon looks out for me like a big brother. How he fixes my car (far too often), and takes me out for ice cream when I need a break. How he and Bryan take me to lunch with them. How he's letting me and Lauren dye his hair to cease our boredom. How he offers to drive me home and makes sure I get home safe wherever I go. 

The way it feels to get a really big tip on a long night at work. 

The way Emi can make me laugh at three in the morning with another off-the-wall comment. How she gets my love for unattainable movie stars and band members. How she's always up to shop with me or make me egg-drop soup. How she finishes my sentences and can choreograph a dance to Stronger spur of the moment. 

The way it feels to wrap up in your favorite blanket and watch TLC. 

The way my roommates and I have dance parties at 1 in the morning to Stronger and 22, and how much we rely on each other for everything. How they have a Dr. Pepper waiting for me at the end of a long day. How they listen to my stories and don't judge me when I start crying for no apparent reason. 

The way it feels to drive around in the middle of the night with your best friend. 

Love, in all forms, is wonderful. I love my friends. My family. The gospel. My life.

"Be in love with your life. Every minute of it." -Jack Kerouac

I am. 

Happy Valentine's Day from Snow 102 [and Dallin of course]! Have a lovely day! 

Stay tuned.

We really, really, really like celebrating holidays in 102. 

Stay tuned for a photoshoot dedicated to solely to Valentine's/Single's Awareness day that involved far too much eyeliner, neon lipstick, and approximately twelve million shades of pink. 

Goodnight, kiddos!

Lead me, guide me.

How's my day going so far? Well. Right now, I'm sitting in my apartment checking outside every few seconds to make sure Jon's not losing his mind. Because my window needs fixing, and he got that job thrown at him on Tuesday at approximately 8 o'clock. [Really, it was earlier. Bronson hadn't even left yet and I was having car problems. C'est la freaking vie.] Took my first physics test today, and turned in my first college English paper ever...after sending off my first round of missionary letters to Elder Kunzler, Elder Gerber, and Elder Anderson. It's been a day of firsts, let me tell you. 

Anyway. Last night during our roommate scripture study, we read 1 Nephi 4:6. 

"And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." 

Reading that, I started thinking of all the things that had happened just that day that were examples of people listening to the Spirit, whether they knew it or not. 

Yesterday was long, and I was exhausted before it was even noon. I got home, made some lunch, and checked my email, where I found a message from my dad. He basically spoke directly to everything that had happened that day. 

"I realized that nothing I say will make the hurt and loneliness magically go away, but I also realize that it is nice to know that someone cares and feels for you." 

Add that to my roommates and their texts and just a million other little things that made me smile, I realized how grateful I am for parents that are in tune with the Spirit enough to know what I need to hear, even when I'm an hour away. 

I went to my A-Team class, a physics review, and then the five of us girls headed over to the library to study some more. As I was going through my notes, another email came through; this one from Bronson's mom, making sure she had my email address, that I'd still come visit, and finally making sure that I was doing okay. 

Now, none of these people knew what I'd been praying for and hoping for that day, and yet every single one of them spoke directly to a specific plea that I'd had that morning. 

My point is...we have a Heavenly Father that knows us. Individually, uniquely, and completely. 

Remember that. 

I'm gonna miss you.

Goodbyes suck. Like cry-your-face-off, not being able to talk, and shaking hands suck...but sometimes they're for a good reason. Sending my best friends off around the world isn't what I wanted to be doing over the next six weeks, but I couldn't be more proud of them. Be prepared for some sappy stuff from here on out, but I'm a little bit emotional tonight and you get to deal with it. 

Tonight, I said goodbye to my best friend. The kid that since New Years of our sophomore year, I've hardly gone a day without talking to. He knows every single thing about me, and still loves me...and that's a whole lot to be grateful for. :) He held me together when my grandma passed away, came to my lacrosse games, and attempts to help me study biology, even though I fail. He makes me laugh harder than anybody else I know, and he's the one of two boys I know who would drop everything to change five flat tires in a matter of weeks. We've been through a lot in the last four years, and I'm not excited to face the next two with him 1,500 miles away.

And I'm going to miss him. 

I'm going to miss midnight car rides, game nights, bowling dates, and Coldstone runs. I'm going to miss that blue Mazda, vanilla air fresheners, and a million phone calls at any point in the day. I'm going to miss having a go-to flat tire changer, biology tutor, and ski-lift buddy. I'm going to miss hockey games, Aggie basketball, finding deer and Christmas light judging. I'm going to miss watching way too many NHL videos on YouTube, and the familiar CD's that he keeps in his car all the time. I'm going to have to figure out how to pop my own knuckles, drive in the dark without getting a migraine, and make my own decisions. I'm going to miss movie nights and listening to him laugh while I fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the show, yet again. I'm going to miss beating him at bowling, and wrecking his sister at Rook. (Sorry Nicole, but we're the reigning champions for the next two years.)  But most of all, I'm going to miss having someone there to call when I'm bored, have some dumb story to tell, or just need to talk. I'm going to miss knowing that someone who knows everything about me is only a phone call or an hour's drive away at most...and would drop just about anything to help me. 

But on the flip side...

I'm so excited for the people in Detroit to get to know and learn to love my best friend. I'm so excited for him to be able to serve those people, and to learn and grow as missionaries do. He's got a testimony that will change more lives than I have time to count, and a heart that loves like no one else. Detroit doesn't know what they have coming. And mainly, I'm excited because every day he's gone is one more day for me to learn and grow, and one day closer to him coming home. 

So here's to my best friend, for being everything a girl could want. I'm so grateful for him and his testimony, his example and his willingness to serve. 

I'll see ya in two, Bron. Love you. 

Keep on smiling.

I love being home. [Mainly because there's real food, free laundry, and my family.] Also because I get sushi dinners. For Emily's birthday, she wanted to have sushi for dinner and ride FrontRunner into Salt Lake, so that's exactly what we did. Six sushi rolls, a mango salad, and japanese ice cream balls later, we rode frontrunner to City Creek and then looked at the lights at Temple Square. 

[This was BEFORE Aubrey needed new pants, and my mom had to run with her across the parking lot and into Gordman's to accomodate.]

With a building this pretty, it really makes you wonder why people would want to get married anywhere else. Seriously. And even with what seemed like a million and a half people swarming Temple Square, the lights were incredible as usual, and the temple looked spectacular. 

We watched a...happy couple for a good five minutes, and then tried to take a picture of them. You can barely see them in the background, but the best part of the picture has got to be Emi's face. Pure luck that we caught that on camera, folks. 

After being in Logan by myself for two days, I came home right after work on Tuesday night. And decided to see the Hobbit with my family and the Jason and Bentley. [Maybe I'm just a hater, but I have never been more bored in a movie in my whole life. Seriously. And the fact it's only the first of three movies the same length...kind of makes me want to poke my eyes out. In other words, thought I might be a LOTR fan...not so much. The end.] The fact that the movie was in 3D meant a tool-time picture in the mirror was only to be expected. 

Seeing a three hour movie at 10:20 pm, does nothing good when you have to be up at six thirty the next morning. Yesterday was Bronson's birthday, so Bronson, Jon, Paige, Jackson, Jared, Kambria and I went snowboarding/skiing at Brighton all day long. After not being on a snowboard in two years, I spent a fair amount of time either flat on my butt or on my face. And I'm sore enough today to make sure I'm not doing that again for a litte while. But I got to spend all day with my best friends, and then we went to the Davis Viewmont hockey game too. [Which was probably the weirdest thing...sitting next to Bronson and Dylan when I'm used to watching them play. Good news though, we still lost. And Bronson predicted the score perfectly, right down to who would score how many goals.] Needless to say, yesterday was fantastic, and it was the perfect way to spend the last birthday for two years with my best friend. Happy Birthday, kid. :)

It's been here all along.

November 5th: Today I'm grateful for number 12. :) Dylan has been one of my best friends since we were in first grade, and I can honestly say I can't remember a time when he wasn't there for me. He's one of the very few people I will answer a call from at 3 am, because he's stranded in an airport somewhere, and one of even fewer people who I will put up with constant teasing. Because the kid really is my big brother. He's going to school in Alabama right now, and I miss the kid like crazy--a fact I let him know at least a million times a week. I don't get to see him often at all, but he'll always be one of my very best friends, regardless of where we are or what we're doing with our lives. And I'm so grateful for a friendship like that.

November 6th: The best part of this picture is the fact that it's my two best friends, together. Bronson and Dylan may be as different as you could possibly get, but they're always the first two people I go to about anything. Bronson's helped me deal with just about everything, and he knows exactly what to say and how to say it to make me smile. Even though he teases me constantly, I figure it's worth putting up with. Because I really don't know where I'd be without him. He's put up with a lot from me, and he still sticks around. And I'm so grateful for a best friend like that.
The moral of the story is, without these two boys, I wouldn't be who I am today. They know me better than anybody else, and yet they still put up with me every day of their lives. They're the sweetest boys I've met, and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world--and that's a fact.

November 7th: And today? I'm grateful for my ginger. Maddy and I have known each other since before we even started elementary school, and even though we haven't always gotten along....(like, ever, really. Until the last few years.) She's one of the best people I've ever known. Maddy drives me to be better at everything I do, and she's taught me so many things. She's not afraid to stand up for her opinions, and is willing to fight for what she wants. She's talented, inspired, and one of the best advice givers I know. And even though she's at BYU (We all make mistakes. ;)) I'll always be grateful for her and the influence she's had and continues to have on me. So, my crazy ginger best friend, here's to you.

Let me tell you about it.

It's November, people! Which means fall, and sweaters, and snow, and lots and lots of food. I love Thanksgiving. And I love November. I know it's the third, but for every day from here on out I'm going to do a gratitude post. Because I have so much to be grateful for. 

[catch-up posts.]

November 1st: The girls of 102. I know I talk about them a lot, but my roommates are seriously the best thing to happen to me up here. I scored, big time with these girls. They make me laugh, listen to my problems, and put up with my craziness day in and day out.  

Kenzie is the most sincere person I've ever met, and she makes me food at least a million times a week. She listens to me complain, and attempts to keep my head screwed on straight.

Emi has been my best friend since 8th grade, so we won't go into that, but we are the same person. On every level. 

Kelsey is our "mom," and makes sure I'm drinking my milk, takes notes for me when I miss class, gives me advice on everything. 

Lauren is basically a nicer version of me, and she keeps me sane when we're both up late. She understands my shopping addiction, and isn't afraid to try new things with me. 

Adrienne makes me feel like less of a failure when I fail biology and she doesn't, and keeps me thoroughly entertained through our many apps and chats, and never fails to give compliments, about anything. 

These five girls really are my best friends on the planet, and they're the best sisters I could ever ask for--except for the four real ones I have of course--and Kels and I are missing them like crazy this weekend. 

November 2nd: I have the world's best parents, ask anyone. Both of them are amazing at anything they do. Bake, BBQ, bike, crochet, you name it. They come to all of my stuff: lacrosse games [even though they still don't understand all the rules. But really, who does.], D-TV meetings, graduations, etc. They host parties for not only my friends, but my Seminary Council kids, my Girls Camp Committee friends, and the entire neighborhood+ on the last day of school. They're the best examples I could ever ask for, and give the best advice in the world. 

My mom drops everything to help me, gives me her hair appointments when she's been waiting for months to get to May, and lets me wear her shoes, even though I usually end up taking them. She makes me my favorite foods when I come home, and sends mounds of treats back up to school with me. And she fields roughly twelve thousand phone calls from me a week.

My dad knows everything. So when I call to ask whether I should do a Bachelor of Arts or Science, or ask how on earth I'm supposed to get pumpkin mold off my carpet, he has an answer. He fills my car up for me, fixes my radiator, and makes sure my car is clean when I leave, and that I have a way to insulate my windows so I don't freeze to death.

  I'm so glad that I get to be with them for forever, and am so grateful for everything they do for me. 

November 3rd: I've got the five best siblings, too. 

How many girls can say that they're 15-year-old sister played lacrosse with them, did youth court with them, and will drop just about anything to follow me around while I shop? Not many. Britt and I are just about as different as it gets; I'm loud and always have to have a million people with me. She's much more reserved, and can function perfectly fine on her own. She's also a lot more motivated and driven than I am, and is already blowing everything I did right out of the water. I'm so glad she'll come with me to anything I want her too, and so grateful that as far as I know, she's not embarrassed to admit I'm her sister to everyone at Davis. 

Poor Ryan handles being the only boy reasonably well. :) He listens to my music suggestions, most of them time, and is always willing to back my car in if I need him too. [Shhh...] He puts up with our endless teasing, and sometimes he even asks me for advice with his clothes. Ry will always come drive around delivering Christmas presents to my friends with me for hours, as long as he gets control of the stereo, and he always makes me laugh. 

Emily got all the genes I wish I did. Tall, tiny, blonde, and blue eyed. [You win some and lose some I guess.] And she's the only one who will actually read the books I like! She'll help me pick out my outfits long after Brittany's given up with my indecisiveness, and isn't afraid to let me do her hair and makeup for dance recitals. 

Aubrey and Mary are basically me in two different bodies, and they're the first people I grab when I get home. They're my Zupa's dates, my nap buddies, and the ones I drag around everywhere with me. They let me experiment with their hair, dress them up like they're dolls, and listen to everything I say and do. They sing the same songs I do, and play 'crosse with me when no one else will. Mary shares everything she has with me, and Aubrey will do anything I ask her to. 

I miss these kiddos every single day, and am so glad that they get to put up with me forever. [Poor things.:)] They really are some of my best friends, and I'm so glad there are so many people waiting for me when I get home. 

See, there's so much to be grateful for. I am so incredibly blessed, in every aspect of my life and couldn't ask for anything more. 

Coming full circle.

Other than the fact that I'm so dead tired from last week that I can't even see straight, life is absolutely wonderful. I got to watch Kelsey and Dallin feed each other treats while the rest of my roommates were on an adventure (I'm telling you people, that right there is love. It was like a wedding reception cake eating fest on steroids. Because it was in 102. Surrounded by Halloween lights. And a homemade banana bar instead of wedding cake. They're a match made at USU.)

Saturday night was the [in]famous Howl up here, and these kiddos went all out. There's Emi the Flapper, Kyle Mafia Man, Kelsey's a 50's chick, and Taylor....he's the Sexy Saxophone man. Wearing MY leather jacket and MY leather boots. It's fine. Lauren's friends came up too, and Laur, Marley, Mckenzie, Adrienne, Lauren, Brock, Kyler and Hunter went to a corn maze while Hailee and I stayed back at the apartment and played with cats. [No folks, I'm not kidding.]

Hailee and I also had to run a couple errands for my great grandma and grandpa. My great grandpa Dave has been in the hospital for a couple weeks with multiple blood clots, and my great grandma has refused to leave him. So while they've been at the University Hospital in Salt Lake, their house has been untouched for a little while. I went to pick up their mail, check the house, and all that stuff for my aunts so that my grandma could rest a little easier, and dropped it all off at the hospital Sunday morning. Now, you have to understand how much I hate hospitals. They've always made me feel kind of anxious, and I've just never been a fan. I was a little stressed about making it to the hospital by myself, since I don't drive in Salt Lake like ever, and I'm slightly directionally challenged. But. I made it. 

I parked, grabbed the stuff, and made it all the way to the front desk without freaking out. But as I got up to the elevators, I had the strangest flashback of the last time I was at a hospital. It was the week before my grandma passed away, and we went knowing that this was the last time we'd get to see her. Getting into the elevator on Sunday, I couldn't get that out of my head. By the time I got to the 6th floor, dropped the stuff off, and was headed back down, I was in tears and shaking so bad I couldn't push the buttons for the parking elevator. I got back to my car and just cried for a minute--because I was scared. Because I miss my grandma so much it physically hurts sometimes. And I cried because I was so glad I wasn't one of the people who had lost someone and had no knowledge of what comes after this life. As I was sitting in my car, I got this message from my uncle Kip. [I hope he's okay that I screenshot-ed this, but I needed to save it.] Sometimes, its the little reminders in life that remind us that people everywhere care about us, and that our Heavenly Father is always looking out for us and knows every part of our hearts.

I'm sure Kip and Ginny don't realize how much I needed this simple reminder right at that very second--or as my grandma would call it, that tender mercy. I'm so grateful for my eternal family, for the fact that they are spiritually in-tune enough that they can help without realizing it, and for the knowledge I have that I will be able to be with them forever. Because that's the best kind of family, the forever and ever kind. 

After a busy weekend, full of parties, farewells, errands, and all sorts of stuff. It's all we can do to stay awake through the most pointless class offered at USU. Props to Jon for capturing Paige and Brianna out cold to prove to the world that David Wall can quite literally bore us all to death. Happy Monday, kids. :)