This could be the best day of my life.

There's a real post with some college-ish stuff coming tomorrow, but for now? Here's the best thing that   has EVER happened to me. Ever. Here's the long version of the story. In 8th/9th gradeish, I got completely obsessed with a band called Mayday Parade. Then, to my utter dismay, they broke up. Kind of. The two lead singers, Jason Lancaster and Derek Sanders had a fight. Jason started his own band...Mayday went their own way. And it was the best thing to happen to music, in the history of the world. Because Go Radio? Ten bazillion times better than Mayday. [Hate to say it, fellas, but it's true.] And I have this almost freakish obsession with Go Radio. They released their new album, Close the Distance last week, and that is seriously the only thing that Emi and I have listened to in our apartment since. 

But back to tonight. Go Radio is currently touring with Safetysuit--who we are now complete and total fans of. So we got tickets to the concert, and waited in line for three hours to get a place on the FRONT ROW. Let's just say if I hadn't reached obsessive fan-girl status before, I definitely have now. 

This right here is Jason Lancaster singing Goodnight Moon. And if you haven't already heard it, you should. Because it's beautiful. And they play it at the end of every show. 

Also, during our rotation with the Safetysuit super fans behind us, I found one of Jason's guitar picks that he'd thrown and no one had caught. So now? I have his signature on my phone (from when we went to their concert in May) and a guitar pick that I watched him perform with. Ahhhh. It's a good day in Ashleytown. 

After Safetysuit was done playing, we waited in line to meet the greatest band on the planet. So here's me, and my best friend with Steven, Matt, Alex, and Jason. [Notice how we're all totally touching, and imagine the high fives and handshakes that came after. YAYYYYY.]

Sidenote: This afternoon, Hailee texted me saying that she'd seen them all at Gateway. I was super jealous, she hardcore stalked them and creep-pic-ed for a little bit. And then, when we're taking this picture, Alex (He's the one between me and Emi) says, "Hey! We saw you at Gateway!" Ladies and gents, the band remembered my best friend. We're kind of a big deal. Also, Emi caught Alex's sweat towel. And he noticed. [Seriously the grossest object that has ever been in my car. Or within a mile of me. Who wants a hand towel soaked with Alex's sweat???]

The moral of the story is that today was a very, very, very, VERY good day. Like my shirt says....when it comes to "Go Radio or Go Home," I will Go Radio, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I say it because I care.

Going through my phone today, I realized there was a lot of stuff I documented, and never posted about. So I figured I might as well, now that I have some time.

First of all! April 24th...Emi, Hailee and I went to see Go Radio. First of all, if any of you have never listened to them, that should change. Quickly. Because Jason Lancaster (Pictured ^^^^) easily has one of the greatest voices in the history of ever. He used to be part of a band called Mayday Parade, but split up from them a little while ago. If you're interested, look up "What If You Don't" or "Why I'm Home" on YouTube. I promise you won't regret it.

Go Radio performed, but so did this band from Oregon called This Providence. That extremely fine fellow up there would be Dan Young with my best friend. And yes, he was even greater in person. Look up "A Beautiful Rescue." His voice...mmmmm. British accent and that face. It makes everything okay.

We took AP tests this year, far too many of them if you ask me, and attended way too many study sessions. Art History reviews marked the birth of the Unicorner and reminded us that we're not maturing as quickly as we're growing up. It's probably fine.

After we took our various tests, we decided that having a Zupa's within five miles of our houses was the best/worst idea ever. Two times in a week can't be good...except it's so very, very good. That would be my favorite ginger on our second outing of the week with a chocolate strawberry as big as her face. (Not really, but still.)

We don't do a whole lot of extraordinary things, (except get my phone signed by Jason Lancaster. That was pretty freaking awesome.) but we do a lot of random, simple things. And frankly, it doesn't matter what I'm doing, as long as I'm with these kids. Because they're the ones that matter most.

Underwhelming questions.

Most nights, I get in bed around 10 or 10:30....and proceed to lay there, wide awake, until midnight. I'm not doing anything productive, usually sporadically checking Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, email, and Pinterest; but if I could channel all the brain power my mind generates right then, I could pass my AP tests in the first week of school.
Last night was frustrating, stressful, and not very much fun. But! While I was laying there, quite literally nested in my seven thousand blankets and pillows, and twisting my Disney Princess blanket in my hands like there was no tomorrow (it's a nervous habit, and yes, it is Disney. Deal with it.) the conversation in my head went something like this.

"So. NOW what?"
"What do you mean, now what?"
"I mean, this is a change, a big change. It's been a long time since things were like this."
"Maybe, but change is good. Change is real good. It'll all be OK."
"But, what if...."


And I promptly fell asleep. I have a problem with that, falling asleep mid conversation. Granted, it's usually with another person and not just myself, but still.
I woke up this morning and was busy and barely breathing until 7:45 (which really is saying a lot considering I was up at the crack of dawn and had an early morning meeting.) And I got a text from a friend, one I haven't really talked to in a while.

"Hey Ashley! I just wanted to tell you to have such a fantastic day! :) You're a great girl, with such a loving, kind personality. Keep being great. :)...Keep your chin up sug :) and pass it forward. You are wonderful! :)"

Like I said, I don't talk to this friend very often, and she has no idea what's really going on. But that message? Was just what I needed. And just reiterated the fact that no matter what's happening, who's fighting with who, and what is going wrong, someone up there is ALWAYS listening, watching, and looking out for us.

And suddenly, all those overwhelming questions and problems became insignificant.
"It's days like today, when life gets great."


(ALSO. I get to see the band who penned ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ those lyrics tonight with my best friends. Life is alright, I guess....:))

What I wouldn't give.

I don't know if anyone understands the true significance of this picture, but it seriously breaks my heart and makes everything right in the world all at the same time. 17 may be my favorite number, but numbers 12 and 57 will always, always, be special.

Those two boys right there have been my world since I was five-ish. First crush, first love, first date, first bf, first heartbreak. All summed up in those two boys.

Tonight was just another one of those wake-up calls that I really am growing up, and everything is changing. When I watched these boys play against each other for the first time three years ago, I would have laughed if you told me how things would be now. But change happens, and life throws you curveballs. Roll with it.

I do want to explain this picture a little more though. Those boys right there are the two people who have changed me more than any other human beings on this planet. They've saved me from myself more times than I can count, and I'd like to say I've been there for them as well. Dylan taught me from the time I was super little that I belonged cheering at a hockey rink, and not on the sidelines of a football field. Some people despise the potency of the rec center ice rink, but for some of us, it's almost too familiar. I can't name many of the NHL players, or even the teams, but I can tell you just about everything about these two boys, their teams, and their respective stats. I may not have been the best attendee, but I've never missed hearing about a game. I can't stand watching them get hit, and I scream louder than their families when they score. I yell at the refs when they get called for something stupid. I've waited for them in the lobby of the rec center for more time than I care to count, and no matter what they do, I will never get used to the smell of hockey pads.

This year, these boys are both captains of their respective teams. And tonight, I watched them play in their final games for those teams. Both were selected to play on the All-Star team, and there was not a crisis in this world that could have kept me from being there. Watching them play alongside each other, even if it was for different teams, made me more proud than I ever have been. And seeing them circle up for the last face-off literally made me cry. They faced off for the last time, and a chapter of our lives closed. In different ways of course, but a piece of us ended right there.

I shouldn't be so sentimental about a hockey game, but there's more meaning in that picture than I could ever begin to describe. So I'll leave it at this: I don't know if I can say I've been changed for the better. But, because I knew them? I know I have been changed for good.

"I don't want to live [this] way, reading into every word you say."

I'm slightly obsessed with this song. BUT! I like this version even better. I may or may not have listened to her new CD, "Human Again" a bazillion times this week. (Okay, maybe not that many. But it was really something like 34, if my car is keeping track correctly.) Especially this song.


I love music. Especially when it means something.

My hero? She's the last real dreamer I know.

-----DISCLAIMER: this may be a really emotional post, and contains religious-speak.-----

Today in seminary, there was a quote on the board that said something along the lines of: you should live your life in such a way that your unborn children would have no reason to ask where you went wrong.

Then a boy, (who I happen to have a massive crush on, it's fine.) mentioned that he tried to live his life so that his grandma, who had passed away recently, would look down on him and be proud.

The more I thought about it, the more I agreed. My grandma truly was the most amazing person in the world, and everyday she inspires me to be better. Because of her example, I know what kind of mother I want to be.

Because of her, I also know how it feels to hurt like I never have before. She's been gone for almost two years now, and there's not a single day that goes by that I don't physically ache to know I don't know how long it will be until I see her again. It's hard to face everyday knowing that one of the people you loved most, and one who loved you most, isn't there to congratulate you, give you a hug, or roll their eyes at you.
She won't see me on my wedding day, or hold my babies at their blessings. She won't be there when I graduate from high school, and will never see me leave for a dance. She'll won't know my friends, or be able to tell me about when she was young. I'll won' have anyone to call "Grandma."

But because of my beliefs, I know I will see her again. I know she will know my children, and be able to hold me again like she used to.

It's hard to face everyday without her, and I don't think it will ever stop hurting. But because of her example, I know I can do it, and I know that us Bell girls are stronger than we know.

Wildly convinced this is uncommonly beautiful.

This is easily the greatest video I've seen in a long time.

Also, the song (lyrics mainly) is fantastic.

Here's the lyrics for ya.

I have an addiction to covers of my favorite songs, especially by Boyce Avenue.

And a cover of my favorite Katy Perry song? This makes everything right in the world.

Enjoy.