Monday, March 13, 2017

March: Be more grateful.

I know, I know. It's March. Not November. 
But this weekend is St. Patrick's Day, which is all about luck and I've got a lot of things I consider myself lucky to have--so this month I'm focusing on being grateful for everything I get to call mine.

I'm grateful for music and books and Netflix. 
I'm grateful for the gym and leggings and eyelash extensions. 
I'm grateful for Dr. Pepper and pebble ice and peppermint Chapstick. 
I'm grateful for nerdy podcasts and inspiring quotes and purple nail polish. 
I'm grateful for minky blankets and days with no alarms and the promise of a tan come summer. 
I'm grateful for rocky road ice cream and fireworks and boys that hold your hand in the car. 
I'm grateful for my job--and everything that comes with it. The proximity to my family and the people I care about. The flexibility that allows me to make up for the school programs and ballet recitals and football games I missed while I was at school. It's placement in an industry I know very little about, which gives me endless (challenging) learning opportunities. The coworkers that make every day entertaining and productive, and make me excited to go to work every day. 
I'm grateful for my people. For my family and the eternal cheerleaders they are. For my parents and their support and advice. For my sisters and the way they motivate me to be a better person. For my brother and our genuine friendship. For my grandparents and all the lessons they've taught me. For my aunts and uncles and cousins and all the love they give. 
I'm grateful for the most patient boyfriend--and all the things he does for me. For the time he spends with me, and getting to me. For the effort he puts into our relationship. For the way he makes me laugh (and roll my eyes). For letting me spend time with his family, and the way his nieces and nephews make me smile. For the way he challenges me and makes me a better person.
I'm grateful for the neighborhood I grew up in and all the people in it. For neighbors that have become family and for Sunday nights in the culdesac. For corner lemonade stands and family vacations.
I'm grateful for Utah State. For the things I learned in class (and not in class). For the best friends that little town gave me, and the people it let me cross paths with. For the growing and breaking and loving I did there. And especially for the way it prepared me for the real world as soon as I was ready to leave. 
I'm grateful to be a member of the Church.  For siblings that serve missions and teach the gospel all over the world. For temples that enable me to be with my family forever. For forgiveness and the Atonement. For the yearly Primary program. For a Heavenly Father that loves me. 

No one has an easy life--but I've been pretty blessed to have a life full of relatively smooth sailing, and I need to be more grateful for the things I am so lucky to have. What are you grateful for? 

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Days of Love.

My sweet friend Shelby has been doing this series for a couple of years, and I was thrilled to be a part of it this year!

Here's what I had to say about love (but you should read the rest of the series as well because they'll make your heart all kinds of happy). 

February: Be more honest.

I know, I know, it's February. The "love" month. I should have picked "be more loving" or "be more sentimental" or even "teach yourself to like the color pink even though you've refused to for years." 
But I didn't--because I think being more honest kind of leads to being more of those things (not the pink thing. The loving and sentimental things).
I'm also a terrible liar--so why did I choose to work on being more honest for February?

I think we all like to hide from reality behind knee-jerk responses and carefully calculated subject changes.
I'm notoriously bad at letting people help me solve problems and even worse at showing my emotions.
Being vulnerable isn't one of my strengths--but I'm working on it.
That's why this month, I'm trying to be more honest; more honest about my feelings, more honest with the people around me, and more honest with myself especially.

I think I've always equated feelings with weakness. Being vulnerable about anything meant that I wasn't capable of handling something on my own, whether it was an essay I was struggling to write, an event I was planning where I may have bitten off more than I could chew, or coming to that point in a relationship where I realized that this was good but acknowledging that would mean I had something to lose and losing is one of those things I hate.
I'm one hundred times better at helping people fix their problems then fixing my own--or heaven forbid, making somebody help me figure mine out.
But (and this is huge for me), I've realized that I make things a million times more difficult for myself if I'm trying to keep everything inside and figure things out by myself.

We (or maybe just it's just me here) in this world filled with the idea that things have to be perfect to be good. Nothing is perfect, not everything is easy, and good grief, some of us have really really bad
days.
This month, I'm teaching myself that it's okay to have a bad day, it's okay to be emotional about things, and it's okay to really feel.
Maybe this love month will make me less heartless after all. ;)