Friday, February 24, 2012

My hero? She's the last real dreamer I know.

-----DISCLAIMER: this may be a really emotional post, and contains religious-speak.-----

Today in seminary, there was a quote on the board that said something along the lines of: you should live your life in such a way that your unborn children would have no reason to ask where you went wrong.

Then a boy, (who I happen to have a massive crush on, it's fine.) mentioned that he tried to live his life so that his grandma, who had passed away recently, would look down on him and be proud.

The more I thought about it, the more I agreed. My grandma truly was the most amazing person in the world, and everyday she inspires me to be better. Because of her example, I know what kind of mother I want to be.

Because of her, I also know how it feels to hurt like I never have before. She's been gone for almost two years now, and there's not a single day that goes by that I don't physically ache to know I don't know how long it will be until I see her again. It's hard to face everyday knowing that one of the people you loved most, and one who loved you most, isn't there to congratulate you, give you a hug, or roll their eyes at you.
She won't see me on my wedding day, or hold my babies at their blessings. She won't be there when I graduate from high school, and will never see me leave for a dance. She'll won't know my friends, or be able to tell me about when she was young. I'll won' have anyone to call "Grandma."

But because of my beliefs, I know I will see her again. I know she will know my children, and be able to hold me again like she used to.

It's hard to face everyday without her, and I don't think it will ever stop hurting. But because of her example, I know I can do it, and I know that us Bell girls are stronger than we know.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Well worth the wait.


The wait is killing me.

Sterling Scholar finalists are going to be posted in approximately 10 minutes.

I'm freaking out, just a little bit.

I don't really know why, because this isn't a big deal.......but man. I'm like bouncing up and down.

We'll see how this goes.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

You'll never understand.

Life comes at ya fast, right?
And sometimes it's all you can do to take a step back and just breathe.
We all have problems, but they don't define who we are.

The way we respond and react to them define us.
The way we treat others in the face of trials defines our character.

I have a quote on my mirror that says,
"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."

I try really hard to not let my outlook on life be determined by the challenges I'm facing.
Just like I won't let an impossible run for practice determine my view of the weekend,
I can't let one bad scenario/decision/consequence determine my outlook on the rest of my life.

And while those around me may never understand why I react the way I do sometimes, in the long run only my opinion matters. And I'm happy with the way I respond, at least most of the time.

If anyone has a problem with that, they can deal with it. Once Upon a Time has a quote that says, "Your bad judgment is your problem, not mine."

But they also say, "All you did is show that anyone can change her life."

Our her outlook on life.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Wildly convinced this is uncommonly beautiful.

This is easily the greatest video I've seen in a long time.
Also, the song (lyrics mainly) is fantastic.
Here's the lyrics for ya.

I have an addiction to covers of my favorite songs, especially by Boyce Avenue.
And a cover of my favorite Katy Perry song? This makes everything right in the world.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

We all have our challenges.

I have a problem with social media networks. So I found a photo-a-day challenge on Pinterest, and I figured, why not.
Today's challenge? "My view today."
This is the banner for the new NBC show Smash. Not only am I excited because it has Katherine McPhee, its about Broadway and theater and basically everything else I love....but IT HAS MY NAME.
I watched a preview of it, and to put it in few words, I am so excited.
Monday can't come soon enough.

In other news, my Ambassador portfolio for Utah State is in.
Nervous? Yes. Excited? Yes.
I would love to get this one, but whatever happens, happens.
With my Sterling Scholar portfolio in, and this one now too, all I can do is wait.
And I'm not very patient.
Wish me luck!