Friday, January 30, 2015

It doesn't work like that.

Every class has one--that annoying human who talks over everybody before class, making sure that everybody in the room [not just the person they're actually talking to] is updated on their life.
I'm a horribly curious person--and these people and their life-story telling feed this curiosity.
...but I'm also a very outspoken person. And when these people say things that tick me off, it takes a whole lot of restraint to not say anything, but sometimes I'm really good at keeping my mouth shut and just thinking about what they say.

Today, one of these girls was talking to the boy sitting next to her about her new relationship.
"Eh, it's going okay I guess. But it's not easy, and I don't think it's worth it. Isn't falling in love supposed to be easy? We go on dates and he's really sweet and treats me well, but he doesn't do any of those typical boyfriend things like they do in the movies. Being in a relationship is supposed to be a piece of cake and this just isn't like that!"

This went on for another five minutes before class started, and by the time our professor walked in, my head wanted to explode.

I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that:
a) she thought relationships were easy
b) she was actually comparing her boyfriend to a fictional character & being 100% serious about it.
c) she was being this vocal about her dissatisfaction--and she still had a relationship to whine about!

As usual, I had to physically restrain myself from giving her a piece of my mind, but I've been thinking about this all day [so naturally the blog takes a hit].

Relationships are not easy. Not ever, not in any world, not with anybody. That's not to say that they're impossible, but they take work.
I don't care if it's a relationship with your mom, your roommate, your significant other, or your manager--they all take some kind of work.
[I'm going to do the most cliche girl thing on the planet and quote The Notebook, but it's perfect and when these things work you just can't argue.] 
"So it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard. And we're going to have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you, I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday."

Nobody's perfect; and for that reason, no relationship is perfect either. I guess I wish I  knew what this girl was expecting....sunshine and roses and nothing ever going wrong? It doesn't work like that. Every great story has an extraordinary conflict, but there's always a resolution that follows.

Movies/songs/novels do us a lot of disservice. We get conned into believing that relationships are easy, and romanticize the idea of love to the point that we don't see it for what it is.

I'm not a relationship expert, and you can ask my roommate, my mom, my friends, and my boyfriend how true that is, but I do try. And I know a little bit of how it works.
It's not easy to get into a relationship, it takes work to stay, and [if you're doing it right] you should never want to leave.
Because at some point, you realize that all the petty arguments teach you that you have something worth fighting for. You learn that contrary to what you thought, you're not always right--and even if you still think you are, sometimes it's okay to let the other person win. And most importantly? All those little things that drive you crazy, drive you crazy in all the right ways, too.

[Now don't get me wrong, love should be easy too. "Fall in love with someone who doesn't make you think love is hard" and all that jazz. But anything you want to last for a really long time requires some kind of effort, you know?]

Really, I just feel sorry for that girl. Her boyfriend sounded like a really nice guy--and she obviously didn't appreciate him or their relationship. And I feel sorry that she'll never truly appreciate anything, because she thinks that the only things worth keeping are the things that come easy, and that's just not true. The best things in life are the things you work hard for.

[Time for another cliche girl quote, I'm really sorry]. Blair Waldorf summed it up pretty well...

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The bright side.

January is a pretty dreary time in Logan, and it's easy to get caught up in this dirty inversion. 
How exactly do you look past the winter fog and remember the bright side? 
One of the greatest lessons I ever learned was in a talk from the October 2012 General Conference. 
President Uchtdorf gave an incredible talk (as usual) entitled, "Of Regrets and Resolutions" and parts of it echo pretty constantly through my head. 
Part of his talk focused on how we need to let ourselves be happier and not dwell on the problems we may have. 
"Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it." 
I'm not perfect, and my life isn't all sunshine and rainbows--but I've learned that if I can take a deep breath and focus on those rainbows rather than the storm clouds, my life seems to become more and more perfect before my eyes. 

Take today for example. 
I woke up at 8:50 for my 9:00 class and literally ran to class in shorts, a hoodie, and tennis shoes with my hair still in the braid I'd slept in. I was flustered, panicked, and not the happiest camper from the second I rolled out of bed. 
I got out of class, came home and got ready before heading to the rest of my classes today--and the day just felt pretty blah. You all know that feeling, right? 
Then I got in the car with Lynette and pulled a random piece of paper out of my console wondering what in the heck it could be. 
That cute boyfriend of mine had snuck a simple note in there to surprise me and suddenly my day had gone from "blah" to "awww" in a matter of seconds. 

I'm telling you, it's the little things. 

My grandma loved the concept of tender mercies; the idea that our Heavenly Father gives us these little reminders that He is there and that life isn't all that bad. I think that's what President Uchtdorf is talking about here. 
Life can be really rough sometimes. You're going to have bad days, you're going to disappoint people you care about, and people you love are going to hurt you. But if you can find even one good thing in every day, your whole outlook on life can be improved. 
If I've learned anything lately, it's that life isn't always going to go according to plan...but sometimes the things you don't plan are the best things to happen to you in a really long time. 
"Let us resolve to be happy, regardless of our circumstances."

There are just so many wonderfully beautiful reasons to be happy, and it's not worth taking them all for granted. 
It's cheesy, but it's true. Life is just better when you're happy, and your attitude is half the battle. 

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Some kind of wonderful.

We're only a month in, and I'm already certain that 2015 is going to be a new kind of incredible. 
 We've splurged at the semi-annual sale and discovered cranberry quinoa salad.
We've rekindled traditions and finally cleared up all confusion ;). 
 We've introduced Brian to our favorite Chinese food and my family played paparazzi with the SigEp composites.
 We've started Friends again and tried to love the Fieldhouse and mornings. 
 We've dated, doubled, and climbed. 
And we've put a whole new meaning to the word trust (if you ever want to learn how to not let someone down the wall gracefully, let me teach you).

This month has been on my mind for the last two years--and even though nothing is what I pictured it would be, I can't even begin to describe how happily content I am. 
I guess the secret to being happy is to do what makes you happy, surrounded by the people who make you happy, and care about you no matter what you do [and it helps if they're really cute and wait two years for a  chocolate english toffee milkshake you promised them].

I'm just the luckiest. 

Thursday, January 1, 2015

I'll keep you.

2014 was by no means perfect. But like they say, life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. 
And this year was pretty freaking wonderful. 
[here's the highlights]
I learned about a whole new kind of love from 45 boys--one that is equal parts overwhelming, stressful, and incredible.
I learned about what the word "unconditional" means when friendships don't change despite life pulling you in a thousand new directions. 
I fell even more in love with Logan [if that was even possible], and it's breaking my heart a little bit to think that I'm almost done here. 
We gained an aunt and the perfect addition to our family when Andy and Des got married in May. 
I found a new appreciation for bikers when we trailed them for 525 miles through some of the most beautiful places in Utah...on limited sleep, with an unlimited supply of Swedish Fish. 
I learned just how insane we really are when I crossed the finish line for Ragnar number five. 
I reached a whole new level of fangirl while my best friend and I sang along with every single word at the Katy Perry concert and my dream of seeing KP live came true. 

I learned the basics of remodeling a house, painted more wood paneling than I ever want to see again in my entire life, and sent one of my best friends off to the real world, which taught me to dance to Beyonce by myself and really appreciate phone calls on the way home from work. 
 I found a new mini-me and learned what it feels like to have part of your heart living outside of you. 
 I spent an absurd amount of time with the #dreamteam and learned over and over again how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. 
I attempted to drive this one crazy with a thousand pointless stories, middle of the night talks, and a seemingly endless supply of arguments as to why he should stay in Logan, come to Logan, or not leave Logan [and more pictures than I'm sure he ever wanted to take. Whoops].
I experienced a little bit of heaven as we said goodbye to Uncle Bret and learned that my heart really can be sore. 

It's been quite the year, and if history is any indication, I'm sure 2015 is going to be even more exciting. 
So here's to a year of more learning, more friends, more challenges, and even more love. 
2015, if you're anywhere near as fun as 2014...I guess I'll keep you around. 

"And we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been."