Lead me, guide me.

How's my day going so far? Well. Right now, I'm sitting in my apartment checking outside every few seconds to make sure Jon's not losing his mind. Because my window needs fixing, and he got that job thrown at him on Tuesday at approximately 8 o'clock. [Really, it was earlier. Bronson hadn't even left yet and I was having car problems. C'est la freaking vie.] Took my first physics test today, and turned in my first college English paper ever...after sending off my first round of missionary letters to Elder Kunzler, Elder Gerber, and Elder Anderson. It's been a day of firsts, let me tell you. 

Anyway. Last night during our roommate scripture study, we read 1 Nephi 4:6. 

"And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." 

Reading that, I started thinking of all the things that had happened just that day that were examples of people listening to the Spirit, whether they knew it or not. 

Yesterday was long, and I was exhausted before it was even noon. I got home, made some lunch, and checked my email, where I found a message from my dad. He basically spoke directly to everything that had happened that day. 

"I realized that nothing I say will make the hurt and loneliness magically go away, but I also realize that it is nice to know that someone cares and feels for you." 

Add that to my roommates and their texts and just a million other little things that made me smile, I realized how grateful I am for parents that are in tune with the Spirit enough to know what I need to hear, even when I'm an hour away. 

I went to my A-Team class, a physics review, and then the five of us girls headed over to the library to study some more. As I was going through my notes, another email came through; this one from Bronson's mom, making sure she had my email address, that I'd still come visit, and finally making sure that I was doing okay. 

Now, none of these people knew what I'd been praying for and hoping for that day, and yet every single one of them spoke directly to a specific plea that I'd had that morning. 

My point is...we have a Heavenly Father that knows us. Individually, uniquely, and completely. 

Remember that. 

So it begins.

Sometimes, the window on your car breaks literally seconds after pulling into the parking lot, and you have to use every form of restraint you possess to not let loose a stream of not-so-nice words. Sometimes, you get the last text for two years on your way to Taco Tuesday at Cafe Rio, and lose it, right there in front of your five roommates and the person in the car next to you. Then you get into Cafe Rio and run to Bryan Tew for a hug, because he's the first person you see. [I apologize for ignoring you Blake, Ben, and Bradley. Next time, I'll give you a hug too.]
Sometimes, the only way to keep yourself in check is to curl up in a chair in your family room, turn on Pandora, and lose yourself in the world of Pinterest. Because you know your phone isn't going to be ringing as regularly, and no matter how many times you check it you're not going to have a text, and you don't have the mental capacity to do the homework that is staring you in the face.
Sometimes, your roommates start a scripture study group every night at 10:45, and you start the Book of Mormon over again for the fourth time this year--and no, I have yet to finish it since I moved out. We're working on that. And sometimes, this scripture study suddenly has a more profound impact on you because of all the missionaries you're saying goodbye to. So when you read 1 Nephi 3:6, "Therefore go, my son, and thou shalt be favored of the Lord, because thou hast not murmured," you can't help but be completely overwhelmed with not only the truth of the gospel that your best friends are teaching, but you can't contain the pride and gratitude you have. Because you know that your best friends are favored because they haven't murmured, and you know that they are going to be just fine out there.
Sometimes, the only thing that makes everything okay is the fact that this church is so true. And that makes it okay that you're not going to see some of your friends for a year and a half or two years...because you know that this gospel is worth sharing--worth sharing your friends with the world, and worth them sharing their testimonies.

[Sad story time: This morning, I woke up late and while hurrying to try and make the 7:30 shuttle, I put on mismatched socks. I was the only person on the bus, so naturally I pulled out my phone...and was halfway through a text to him about how he couldn't judge my socks...when I realized that wasn't going to work out so well. Dangit, kid. Now the rest of the world has to learn how to handle my stories. Poor things. The end. This is a happy blog.]

I guess the moral of the story is that even though today's rough, and I'm still figuring out how to spend my time...life is good.
I have some incredible roommates. They have Dr. Pepper waiting for me when I have a long day, and they know how to make me laugh. They make the gospel a priority, and are the best friends and substitute sisters a girl could ask for.
I have some incredible boys in my life. Like Bryan, who makes sure I'm doing alright every time he sees me. Or Jon, who comes over at 11:30 to see what he can do to fix my car, and promises me that he'll make sure I'm taken care of. Or Max, who talks to me until way too early in the morning some nights and is more excited than I am when I make A-Team. ["I can only freak out for so long by myself, Max!" "I'm coming, keep freaking out!!"]
I'm a lucky girl, in every aspect of my life. That's all.

   

I'm gonna miss you.

Goodbyes suck. Like cry-your-face-off, not being able to talk, and shaking hands suck...but sometimes they're for a good reason. Sending my best friends off around the world isn't what I wanted to be doing over the next six weeks, but I couldn't be more proud of them. Be prepared for some sappy stuff from here on out, but I'm a little bit emotional tonight and you get to deal with it. 

Tonight, I said goodbye to my best friend. The kid that since New Years of our sophomore year, I've hardly gone a day without talking to. He knows every single thing about me, and still loves me...and that's a whole lot to be grateful for. :) He held me together when my grandma passed away, came to my lacrosse games, and attempts to help me study biology, even though I fail. He makes me laugh harder than anybody else I know, and he's the one of two boys I know who would drop everything to change five flat tires in a matter of weeks. We've been through a lot in the last four years, and I'm not excited to face the next two with him 1,500 miles away.

And I'm going to miss him. 

I'm going to miss midnight car rides, game nights, bowling dates, and Coldstone runs. I'm going to miss that blue Mazda, vanilla air fresheners, and a million phone calls at any point in the day. I'm going to miss having a go-to flat tire changer, biology tutor, and ski-lift buddy. I'm going to miss hockey games, Aggie basketball, finding deer and Christmas light judging. I'm going to miss watching way too many NHL videos on YouTube, and the familiar CD's that he keeps in his car all the time. I'm going to have to figure out how to pop my own knuckles, drive in the dark without getting a migraine, and make my own decisions. I'm going to miss movie nights and listening to him laugh while I fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the show, yet again. I'm going to miss beating him at bowling, and wrecking his sister at Rook. (Sorry Nicole, but we're the reigning champions for the next two years.)  But most of all, I'm going to miss having someone there to call when I'm bored, have some dumb story to tell, or just need to talk. I'm going to miss knowing that someone who knows everything about me is only a phone call or an hour's drive away at most...and would drop just about anything to help me. 

But on the flip side...

I'm so excited for the people in Detroit to get to know and learn to love my best friend. I'm so excited for him to be able to serve those people, and to learn and grow as missionaries do. He's got a testimony that will change more lives than I have time to count, and a heart that loves like no one else. Detroit doesn't know what they have coming. And mainly, I'm excited because every day he's gone is one more day for me to learn and grow, and one day closer to him coming home. 

So here's to my best friend, for being everything a girl could want. I'm so grateful for him and his testimony, his example and his willingness to serve. 

I'll see ya in two, Bron. Love you. 

Getting a little crazy.

Sometimes, my family goes on vacation without me. So I get to make Aubrey's birthday cake while they're all driving home from Vegas...and I make Emily come help me. Chocolate chip cake and cream cheese frosting...it was divine. That's all. 

Having all these friends leaving on missions means that we attend farewell after farewell after farewell, and you start losing track of how many sacrament meetings you've gone to in the last month. Sunday was no different, until we got to Danny's and remembered that he was part of a Spanish-speaking ward! Talk about cool. We were the headsets for his talk, but I listened to the rest of the meeting in Spanish. This church is so true, friends. You can feel the spirit so strong in Sacrament meeting, regardless of what language is being spoken. 

We had a game night on Sunday night with just our roommates--after we finished watching the Bachelor of course--and somehow that turned into Kelsey telling our fortunes. Emi's was good, Lauren's was even better....but it all went downhill from there. 

Laur and I have a problem with dying our hair, and it may be starting to rub off on Emi. We did a lot of red in Laur's hair, and Emi decided she wanted some too. An hour later, she's got a whole layer of Ariel red and a bunch of random peek-throughs of platinum blonde and red. And it looks cool. 

Wednesday, we all drove down to Bountiful so we could watch Miss Kelsey open her mission call. I don't think I've ever seen Lauren so stressed, and none of us could hold still all day long. Kelsey will be leaving May 22, 2013 to serve in the Knoxville, Tennessee mission. She's going to be an incredible missionary, and I'm so grateful for her testimony and her example. :) Sadie's going to Taiwan, Spencer's going to Hong Kong, and Boston's going to Seattle. I couldn't be more proud of my friends and believe me when I say I'm so blessed to be able to call them my friends. 

These next couple of weeks are going to be crazy with all my best friends leaving/getting their calls, and I couldn't be happier. I hate saying goodbye..but I know they're headed where they're supposed to be going. 

The church is true folks, and I know it with all my heart. 

Back to normal.

My brother and I have an ice cream addiction. So every time I come home, we inevitably end up making a midnight In-n-Out run for shakes. [Chocolate for me, neopolitan for him.] And then, he steals my phone while we take the "long way" home, really just the frontage road, and snap chats and texts my best friend. And they take the opportunity to abuse me to the best of their ability. It's great...and by great, I mean it's not. Good thing I love 'em.

We're back in Logan! And we're better than ever. I can't even begin to explain how much I missed these girls, even if we do stay up way too late talking and act like we're three. But, you have to admit, we rock the footie pajamas and bathrobes like nobody's business. I'm glad we're back...but I miss everyone back home. Braden and Luke. Bronson and Jackson. Emily and Hailee and Sadie. Sad day. But I'm proud of them, and know that they'll be the best missionaries in the whole world.

I really don't know what to say about this picture, other than the fact that Emi draws on her food. She's a keeper.

Sometimes I bring free pie home, and we inhale it faster than I can get everybody out of bed to eat. Triple berry definitely wins the award for our favorite, and the peanut butter is one we can pass on.

In other news, my family is going to Vegas right now. Without me. So while they're having a party in the 63 degree weather, I'll be going to school and working in the freezing cold. College kid problems? 

BUT. I get to meet the rest of the A-Team tonight! And I'm super excited. 

And then it's time for the welcome back social, complete with a showing of Pitch Perfect and food. College is still wonderful, my friends. 

Let's review.

It's officially 2013, kiddos! 2012 is over, and man, was it quite the year. I'm apologizing in advance for the length of this post, but deal with it. I had a good year, and I'm going to share some of my favorite parts. [Also, it's all jumbled and out of order, but my life is as crazy as this post. It's fitting.]

1. I did a triathlon! Ryan, Brittany and I made a relay team for a sprint triathlon in Bountiful this summer, and it was a blast. After all, the family that tri's together stays together, right folks?

 2. I may have made a million new friends, but I'll keep these ones around too. We started sending off all our missionary friends, and I couldn't be more proud of them or grateful for their examples and testimonies. Paris, Detroit, Hong Kong, Honduras, Guam, Ghana, England, Dallas, and Canada are some of the luckiest places on earth, because they get my best friends for the next two years. See ya in two [or 18 months] friends.

 3. I spent a weekend in Park City with my best friends, and I got to see some of the art I learned about in AP Art History. [That class was another highlight, as was being done with AP tests forever.] There's no better way to celebrate an 18th birthday than having a giant sleepover at the Park City Marriott and shopping, swimming, and exploring for three straight days. It was grand.

 4. I MET GO RADIO. And I got to see them in concert, twice. Jason Lancaster signed my phone, I got one of his guitar picks...and Emi got Alex's sweat towel. We're devoted fans.

 5. I finally got together with my dream man. Zac and I have been in contact since HSM, and we finally decided to make our relationship public. Okay fine, not really. But we did discover how entertaining photoshop was--along with baby morph websites--and keep ourselves entertained for hours on end. Besides, Zac and I would make a lovely couple.

 6. I finished my third Ragnar, and discovered that the third time truly is the charm. Some may call us crazy for paying money to spend 48 hours in a cramped, sweaty, stinky car and run over 15 miles, but I wouldn't trade this weekend for anything in the world. It's physically, mentally and emotionally demanding and draining...but it's so worth it. It hurts so good?

 7. Graduated seminary! Spent the year on seminary council for Davis, and finally got my diploma [it was a little rough...senioritis took its toll early on.] and I got to graduate with my best friend, and most of the kids that I've grown up. We were halfway there!

 8. Attended my last dance of high school with my best friends. Got ready together, just like we had for every dance in the last three years, and celebrated at Zupa's, like we always do. Danced until we were sore, and said goodbye to everyone we'd spent the last three years with.

9. FINALLY walked across that stage, and got our diplomas. Said goodbye to public schooling, and hello to futures in various parts of the world. I couldn't be more grateful to have these two girls by my side for the majority of my life, and I'm so glad they're my best friends. We survived high school, and that's all that really matters. 

 10. Last, but certainly not least, I met these five girls. Lauren, Emi, Kenzie, Adrienne and Kelsey are the best roommates, sisters, friends, and homework buddies that a girl could ever ask for. Call me cheesy, but I know that we were put together for a reason, and I'm so glad we did. I'm excited to spend this next semester with them, because they were the best part of 2012, and they're already my favorite part of 2013.

 Overall, 2012 was full of change, growing up, and learning far more than I ever thought I would. I made some new friends, and brought back some of the old friends; learned how to survive on my own; and realized how lucky I really am. I have an amazing family, incredible friends, and an extraordinary life.

2013, you can go ahead and bring it on.