Friday, January 30, 2015

It doesn't work like that.

Every class has one--that annoying human who talks over everybody before class, making sure that everybody in the room [not just the person they're actually talking to] is updated on their life.
I'm a horribly curious person--and these people and their life-story telling feed this curiosity.
...but I'm also a very outspoken person. And when these people say things that tick me off, it takes a whole lot of restraint to not say anything, but sometimes I'm really good at keeping my mouth shut and just thinking about what they say.

Today, one of these girls was talking to the boy sitting next to her about her new relationship.
"Eh, it's going okay I guess. But it's not easy, and I don't think it's worth it. Isn't falling in love supposed to be easy? We go on dates and he's really sweet and treats me well, but he doesn't do any of those typical boyfriend things like they do in the movies. Being in a relationship is supposed to be a piece of cake and this just isn't like that!"

This went on for another five minutes before class started, and by the time our professor walked in, my head wanted to explode.

I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that:
a) she thought relationships were easy
b) she was actually comparing her boyfriend to a fictional character & being 100% serious about it.
c) she was being this vocal about her dissatisfaction--and she still had a relationship to whine about!

As usual, I had to physically restrain myself from giving her a piece of my mind, but I've been thinking about this all day [so naturally the blog takes a hit].

Relationships are not easy. Not ever, not in any world, not with anybody. That's not to say that they're impossible, but they take work.
I don't care if it's a relationship with your mom, your roommate, your significant other, or your manager--they all take some kind of work.
[I'm going to do the most cliche girl thing on the planet and quote The Notebook, but it's perfect and when these things work you just can't argue.] 
"So it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard. And we're going to have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you, I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday."

Nobody's perfect; and for that reason, no relationship is perfect either. I guess I wish I  knew what this girl was expecting....sunshine and roses and nothing ever going wrong? It doesn't work like that. Every great story has an extraordinary conflict, but there's always a resolution that follows.

Movies/songs/novels do us a lot of disservice. We get conned into believing that relationships are easy, and romanticize the idea of love to the point that we don't see it for what it is.

I'm not a relationship expert, and you can ask my roommate, my mom, my friends, and my boyfriend how true that is, but I do try. And I know a little bit of how it works.
It's not easy to get into a relationship, it takes work to stay, and [if you're doing it right] you should never want to leave.
Because at some point, you realize that all the petty arguments teach you that you have something worth fighting for. You learn that contrary to what you thought, you're not always right--and even if you still think you are, sometimes it's okay to let the other person win. And most importantly? All those little things that drive you crazy, drive you crazy in all the right ways, too.

[Now don't get me wrong, love should be easy too. "Fall in love with someone who doesn't make you think love is hard" and all that jazz. But anything you want to last for a really long time requires some kind of effort, you know?]

Really, I just feel sorry for that girl. Her boyfriend sounded like a really nice guy--and she obviously didn't appreciate him or their relationship. And I feel sorry that she'll never truly appreciate anything, because she thinks that the only things worth keeping are the things that come easy, and that's just not true. The best things in life are the things you work hard for.

[Time for another cliche girl quote, I'm really sorry]. Blair Waldorf summed it up pretty well...

No comments:

Post a Comment

I'd love to hear what you think about what I have to say. Thanks for stopping by!