Lead me, guide me.

How's my day going so far? Well. Right now, I'm sitting in my apartment checking outside every few seconds to make sure Jon's not losing his mind. Because my window needs fixing, and he got that job thrown at him on Tuesday at approximately 8 o'clock. [Really, it was earlier. Bronson hadn't even left yet and I was having car problems. C'est la freaking vie.] Took my first physics test today, and turned in my first college English paper ever...after sending off my first round of missionary letters to Elder Kunzler, Elder Gerber, and Elder Anderson. It's been a day of firsts, let me tell you. 

Anyway. Last night during our roommate scripture study, we read 1 Nephi 4:6. 

"And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." 

Reading that, I started thinking of all the things that had happened just that day that were examples of people listening to the Spirit, whether they knew it or not. 

Yesterday was long, and I was exhausted before it was even noon. I got home, made some lunch, and checked my email, where I found a message from my dad. He basically spoke directly to everything that had happened that day. 

"I realized that nothing I say will make the hurt and loneliness magically go away, but I also realize that it is nice to know that someone cares and feels for you." 

Add that to my roommates and their texts and just a million other little things that made me smile, I realized how grateful I am for parents that are in tune with the Spirit enough to know what I need to hear, even when I'm an hour away. 

I went to my A-Team class, a physics review, and then the five of us girls headed over to the library to study some more. As I was going through my notes, another email came through; this one from Bronson's mom, making sure she had my email address, that I'd still come visit, and finally making sure that I was doing okay. 

Now, none of these people knew what I'd been praying for and hoping for that day, and yet every single one of them spoke directly to a specific plea that I'd had that morning. 

My point is...we have a Heavenly Father that knows us. Individually, uniquely, and completely. 

Remember that. 

So it begins.

Sometimes, the window on your car breaks literally seconds after pulling into the parking lot, and you have to use every form of restraint you possess to not let loose a stream of not-so-nice words. Sometimes, you get the last text for two years on your way to Taco Tuesday at Cafe Rio, and lose it, right there in front of your five roommates and the person in the car next to you. Then you get into Cafe Rio and run to Bryan Tew for a hug, because he's the first person you see. [I apologize for ignoring you Blake, Ben, and Bradley. Next time, I'll give you a hug too.]
Sometimes, the only way to keep yourself in check is to curl up in a chair in your family room, turn on Pandora, and lose yourself in the world of Pinterest. Because you know your phone isn't going to be ringing as regularly, and no matter how many times you check it you're not going to have a text, and you don't have the mental capacity to do the homework that is staring you in the face.
Sometimes, your roommates start a scripture study group every night at 10:45, and you start the Book of Mormon over again for the fourth time this year--and no, I have yet to finish it since I moved out. We're working on that. And sometimes, this scripture study suddenly has a more profound impact on you because of all the missionaries you're saying goodbye to. So when you read 1 Nephi 3:6, "Therefore go, my son, and thou shalt be favored of the Lord, because thou hast not murmured," you can't help but be completely overwhelmed with not only the truth of the gospel that your best friends are teaching, but you can't contain the pride and gratitude you have. Because you know that your best friends are favored because they haven't murmured, and you know that they are going to be just fine out there.
Sometimes, the only thing that makes everything okay is the fact that this church is so true. And that makes it okay that you're not going to see some of your friends for a year and a half or two years...because you know that this gospel is worth sharing--worth sharing your friends with the world, and worth them sharing their testimonies.

[Sad story time: This morning, I woke up late and while hurrying to try and make the 7:30 shuttle, I put on mismatched socks. I was the only person on the bus, so naturally I pulled out my phone...and was halfway through a text to him about how he couldn't judge my socks...when I realized that wasn't going to work out so well. Dangit, kid. Now the rest of the world has to learn how to handle my stories. Poor things. The end. This is a happy blog.]

I guess the moral of the story is that even though today's rough, and I'm still figuring out how to spend my time...life is good.
I have some incredible roommates. They have Dr. Pepper waiting for me when I have a long day, and they know how to make me laugh. They make the gospel a priority, and are the best friends and substitute sisters a girl could ask for.
I have some incredible boys in my life. Like Bryan, who makes sure I'm doing alright every time he sees me. Or Jon, who comes over at 11:30 to see what he can do to fix my car, and promises me that he'll make sure I'm taken care of. Or Max, who talks to me until way too early in the morning some nights and is more excited than I am when I make A-Team. ["I can only freak out for so long by myself, Max!" "I'm coming, keep freaking out!!"]
I'm a lucky girl, in every aspect of my life. That's all.

   

I'm gonna miss you.

Goodbyes suck. Like cry-your-face-off, not being able to talk, and shaking hands suck...but sometimes they're for a good reason. Sending my best friends off around the world isn't what I wanted to be doing over the next six weeks, but I couldn't be more proud of them. Be prepared for some sappy stuff from here on out, but I'm a little bit emotional tonight and you get to deal with it. 

Tonight, I said goodbye to my best friend. The kid that since New Years of our sophomore year, I've hardly gone a day without talking to. He knows every single thing about me, and still loves me...and that's a whole lot to be grateful for. :) He held me together when my grandma passed away, came to my lacrosse games, and attempts to help me study biology, even though I fail. He makes me laugh harder than anybody else I know, and he's the one of two boys I know who would drop everything to change five flat tires in a matter of weeks. We've been through a lot in the last four years, and I'm not excited to face the next two with him 1,500 miles away.

And I'm going to miss him. 

I'm going to miss midnight car rides, game nights, bowling dates, and Coldstone runs. I'm going to miss that blue Mazda, vanilla air fresheners, and a million phone calls at any point in the day. I'm going to miss having a go-to flat tire changer, biology tutor, and ski-lift buddy. I'm going to miss hockey games, Aggie basketball, finding deer and Christmas light judging. I'm going to miss watching way too many NHL videos on YouTube, and the familiar CD's that he keeps in his car all the time. I'm going to have to figure out how to pop my own knuckles, drive in the dark without getting a migraine, and make my own decisions. I'm going to miss movie nights and listening to him laugh while I fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the show, yet again. I'm going to miss beating him at bowling, and wrecking his sister at Rook. (Sorry Nicole, but we're the reigning champions for the next two years.)  But most of all, I'm going to miss having someone there to call when I'm bored, have some dumb story to tell, or just need to talk. I'm going to miss knowing that someone who knows everything about me is only a phone call or an hour's drive away at most...and would drop just about anything to help me. 

But on the flip side...

I'm so excited for the people in Detroit to get to know and learn to love my best friend. I'm so excited for him to be able to serve those people, and to learn and grow as missionaries do. He's got a testimony that will change more lives than I have time to count, and a heart that loves like no one else. Detroit doesn't know what they have coming. And mainly, I'm excited because every day he's gone is one more day for me to learn and grow, and one day closer to him coming home. 

So here's to my best friend, for being everything a girl could want. I'm so grateful for him and his testimony, his example and his willingness to serve. 

I'll see ya in two, Bron. Love you.