Reason for being.

Watch this before you read any farther. 

Monday morning, I moved into my apartment for the summer...not fully realizing what I was getting myself into. 

Last time I moved into an apartment I had my best friend with me, and four other girls moving in with us that I knew from school, EFY, and Girls' State. We were in a building with tons of kids I knew from high school, and everyone was moving in the same time.

This time I moved in to an apartment with 10 girls I've never met, three days before anyone else, and all my friends were at home in Kaysville or Farmington. 

Monday night, I was so bored and lonely I could barely handle it. I read my whole book for Connections, wrote three missionary letters, and organized my already clean closet. I woke up Tuesday morning to go to work, went on a run, and then went back into work at nine p.m. I got home and couldn't help but wonder what all my friends were doing. 

I was in a huge house, with two girls I'd never met, and was missing my family and best friends more than ever. 

I checked Facebook on my phone (because I had no idea what the wifi password was, and it was 1 am), and watched this video that my uncle made, and honestly it was just what I needed to hear. 

While we're growing up, we make our friends the most important part of our lives. We're dependent on them for everything--how to dress, what to do on the weekends, and what to say. 

I was no different; my best friends were my world. 

Then they started leaving on missions. Now I'm sending letters to Michigan, Paris, Honduras, Ghana, and Washington. Some of them moved home for the summer, or for good. Some of them have gotten married. 

I found myself fending for myself more than I'd like (I hate quiet, and I hate being alone. I'm definitely a people person). 

I also found that I didn't mind it. As much as I hate being by myself, I've learned that my friends and family--while incredibly important to me, and a very large part of who I am--aren't the reason that I exist. 

Like Andy says in that video, we shouldn't define ourselves by who we hang out with, or the things we have. Who we are is based on what we do. 

With that in mind, I decided that it's my job to be the best "me" possible. 

Whether that's by being the best A-Teamer I can be, studying English better than any other Aggie, or doing everything I can to get to cosmetology school someday....it's up to me. 

Ultimately, it comes down to how I can answer my Grandma's question of "Are you being good?" 

Am I living to up to my utmost potential, and accomplishing everything I can?
Or am I simply existing? 

In an earlier post, I said we're only given one shot at college--and it was our job to make it the best experience possible. The same goes for our lives; we've got one shot to prove we did what we wanted. Why waste a second of it just existing? 

Live.